Lighthouses

Times have changed, literally! Good by daylight savings time and hello darkness, my old friend. Sorry for the rip-off Simon and Garfunkel but I doubt 5 words constitute plagiarism.

Anyway, it gets dark real early now. Which makes it hard for our designated driver, 'The Reverend' to drive our boat home. A slight case of night blindness means he wants to be off the water by 7pm at the latest.

“We're all old,” said Wyoming Bill, “I don't see that well in the dark either but together we can make our way home.”

“The lighthouse at the end of the canal doesn't come on until 8 now because Hippie Joe doesn't know how to reset the timer,” said Cap'n Crunch.

“I'll have my Son reset the darned thing,” I said. “I hate having to cut short happy hour because of such a simple thing.”

“Joe don't want nobody in his house,” said Cleveland Jack. “Probably has one or two bedrooms full of pot plants.”

“Why the hell did he buy that house if he was going to grow Marijuana,” asked Rev.

“Minnesota Max lost it on a short sale. Hippie had the cash. It's a nice house and Joe is an okay guy but he's very paranoid,” Wyoming Bill.

“Well, we need that light in the lighthouse ON. There are so many lights along the shore that anyone could be confused,” I said. “When it blinks, it stands out like a real Sanibel Lighthouse.”

We argued a while but our course was plain to see. We had to convince Joe that allowing someone to change the timer and possibly see a couple of pot plants was better than the alternative. “We're not talking about turning him in,” asked Cleveland Jack.

“Hell no,” said W, “but changing a stubborn man's mind sometimes means leading him to water with the threat of a lead pipe!” Huh?

“That was clear as mud but I agree,” said Put'n Bay Carol. “I should have a talk with him. I think he trusts me enough to bring it up.”

“Tell him we'll pay for the electricity and even buy a bag from him once in a while,” said Jack.

“It won't be long until it's legal, anyway. Some attorney is running radio ads supporting medical pot right now. Wants a an amendment to change the law because the Protestant Taliban keeps blocking bills to make it legal,” I said.

“I'll try to get an appointment with Joe. I have to call him first. I don't want to be dog chow for his monsters,” said Carol. End of meeting.

Addendum; Carol met with Hippie Joe and came back with this report.

“After you get beyond his worries, he's a reasonable guy. I never mentioned any threat but told him he needs to be a good neighbor. It's such a small thing,” Carol said. “I reset the timer myself. It's exactly like my 24 hour pool timer with the screw things on the dial. On at 5:30 pm and off at midnight.”

“That's fantastic,” said Wyoming Bill.

Carol reached into her bra and produced a sandwich bag of weed, “Do we have a hundred bucks in the clubs petty cash?”

An outcry of indignation came from the gathered members. I broke into a little sweat just looking at it. Everyone backed away. Thankfully, when we weren't looking, the bag disappeared and 5 twenties took it's place. Nobody knows and nobody asks but our lighthouse is blinking!

Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com. Former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up on the "Boating Show" 1995 to 2000. Producer/Director/Editor of "Dining out SWFL" and "Boater's Treasures TV." TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep sending those great questions and comments to boatguiEd@aol.com.