Dead End Canal Yacht Club' recruiting members!


As Grouch Marx said, “I'd never belong to a club that would have me as a member!” Which was a very pointed way of resigning from the Hillcrest Country club. He was especially miffed because they wouldn't allow Jews in the pool. He also told his Granddaughter to only wade into the pool up to her navel because, “only asses use that pool!”

The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' doesn't have an 'official pool.' They could have swum in mine and I think Groucho would have been happy being a non-member. Of course the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' isn't a fancy, pinky finger in the air, club. In fact the only other yacht club that has as much class, is the Ashtabula Yacht Club in the working harbor town, Ashtabula, Ohio. They had a coal tipple (conveyor) over the river near the club or they did have 40 years ago when I went through there.

Our 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' is right in the middle of paradise. No coal conveyer and not one puts on the 'airs' exception after baked beans and Foster's Lager are served at our cookouts. Our diversified members have 50 foot yachts and 18 feet pontoon boats. I'm sure the club founders never anticipated such diverse group because the moderately priced homes on the canal drew middle class boaters.

Through the years there were booms and busts and the prices spiraled into the stratosphere and then came back to earth, sometimes with a thud. Our membership changed and after each crash, the membership changed once again. Now we are left with a plethora of social memberships and a declining full membership base. Our membership e-mail list has been decimated because of changes in location, etc.

Our plea to members, and boaters who would like to be members, is for them to send me, boatguiEd@aol.com, a message so we can update our list. This is very important because we have your 2014 club shirts, burgees and membership cards stacked in my garage. My wife wants them gone but the mailer-demon keeps popping up telling me that you are no longer viable.

Our last happy hour club meeting at the Nauti Turtle was embarrassing because we didn't have any way to contact our social members. We didn't even ask for the club discount because no one would have believed our club was that small. The next scheduled happy hour meeting at Matanzas Inn and Restaurant may be as dismal if we can't update our contact list. E-mail me at boatguiEd@aol.com if you are a out of touch member or a boater who'd like to join. And there are several homes for sale on the canal in case you want to be a full member.

I must admit that the new club logo on the shirts, brainstormed by me and designed by Dan Nelson of Dan's Signs and Photoz on Canvas is great. Dan has been a long time social member who does all our logo design. Many of you consider passed logos, works of art.

I apologize for using up precious space in my, 'soon to be Pulitzer Prize nominated', column but this is an important time for the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' so please contact me at boatguiEd@aol.com real soon. More important subjects will be addressed in upcoming weeks in this blog.

Since it is too late in this column to introduce another subject, I will pass along some news. Trooper Tom is considering selling his boat and buying an RV. He isn't swallowing the anchor all the way but just part way because he will be joining the XYZ Boat Club. His plan is to map out all the XYZ national locations and travel to them in his new RV. It saddens his fellow members that he would take such a drastic move.

'Run-aground Ralph' is a great grandfather after his granddaughter-in law delivered a healthy 8 pound boy last month. Unfortunately, his Grandson wrecked his car on the way to the hospital. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. The acorn doesn't fall very far from the tree.

Erie Earl knows where Ashtabula Yacht Club is because Erie, Pennsylvania is just across the border. That's how close our members are. I'm from Pennsyltuckey and the majority of our members are from surrounding states. Not to dismiss Boston Bob or other eastern state snobs.

The ladies auxillarists are mad at me for the fashion show comments and they will never have the swimsuit model back, ever. Notre Dame hater Boston Bob is ecstatic that Notre Dame lost to USF and he thinks Coach Kelly is a nut. The Miami – Ohio State bowl game, sponsored by the NCAA sanction committee, is in a couple of weeks and Ohio Dave is furious at the NCAA for the Ohio State sanctions but in total agreement with the Miami sanctions.

As you can see the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' is a fun and diverse group. If you like down home Florida boating, send me an e-mail to boatguiEd@aol.com and we'll assist you in filling out the one paragraph application. Sorry, it isn't in Spanish, yet. If you are looking for a more refined yacht club, try the Royal Palm Yacht Club on 1st street downtown. Never mind they closed up and sold the property. I hear they need members, too!


Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com.... Former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up on the "Boating Show" 1995 to 2000. 

Producer/Director/Editor of "Dining out SWFL" and "Boater's Treasures TV." TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep sending those great questions and comments to boatguiEd@aol.com.

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