Substituting Swear Words


The gavel came down with a thunderous roar as Commodore 'Pensacola Slim' Jim ruled that the swearing fines must be payed promptly, 'or else!' “These figures are astounding, astronomical and obscene! One of you owes over a hundred dollars! Divide 100 by $.25 and you'll see that this individual has used the 7 words at least 400 times over the last several years!”

None of us had to turn around but a few did and they stared at Run-aground Ralph. He glared back, unfazed. “I never signed on to this amendment to our Constitution!”

“You boycotted the club for a whole year, that's why!We passed the rule because of the increasing vulgarity from uncouth members, like you,” said Commodore 'Pensacola Slim' Jim.

“I have to agree that the language has become more genteel,” said Hard Luck Hanna from Texarkana, “and by the way, here is my check for $6.50!” Hanna can pin anyone's ears back with blue language. She worked on the oil fields for years.

“I'm not paying! I don't believe this applies to me because I never voted for it,” said Ralph. “If you insist, I will boycott the club again!” The sound of clapping came from the back. Sgt. Dave and Cleveland Jack were the culprits. “Oh f#^k you!”

“Pay up or get out, Ralph. I think we all should live up to our responsibilities,” said Past Commodore Boston Bob. Ralph stood up on his shaky old legs and gave the finger to all assembled.

“Any chance he won't come back,” asked Sgt. Dave. The general consensus was that he'd return after a couple of weeks. He'd done this many times before and it always resolved itself when the underlying reason straightened out. This underlying reason involved Senator John McCain.

Earlier; “I'm especially proud of our people (Arizona tea party members) who called out Senator McCain for his support of Obama Care. He is no REAL conservative,” said Run-aground Ralph to Commodore 'Pensacola Slim' Jim. The verbal battle began and Ralph became furious with 'Pensacola Slim' who by the way loves McCain........

“The next item open for discussion is the official Swear Words approved by the social committee. I personally approve of the word, Chupaka, in lieu of the F word. I think 'Chupaka You' has a very forceful ring that conveys the meaning nicely. Can I get a vote on Chupaka?” It passed with out a dissent.

“I like 'Yuckee' 'cause it reminds me of my first husband and is a great word for d#^*ed. I think 'Poo-poo' is to childish, though,” said Hanna.

“Childish or not I think they are an improvement. Lets vote!” Again everyone agreed. Even Cap'n Crunch said yes. We adjourned to the beer keg while everyone tried out the new swear words. It was quite amusing and much easier than whistling. 

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