Driving Over Sandbars?

We were fishing in the Pass while our dogs played on the Beach when Punxsutawney Phil shouted, “Holy crap did you see that?”

Jersey Joe and I spun around expecting a big fish to be flopping on the back deck but instead saw a 'sand rooster tail' shooting up behind a center console rental boat. “What an idiot,” shouted Phil.

“He made it over the bar! Lucky for him but bad as hell for the motor. They must be shook up because they're just sitting in deeper water,” said Joe.

“There they go, heading for home. I'll bet they don't tell ##### #### Marina* about their misadventure,” I said.

“Must be related to Run-aground Ralph. Why would they cut that corner with waves breaking over the bar?” We laughed at Joe's reference. “Lets get the dogs aboard and have some chicken wings at the ###### #####**.”

The dogs were wet but they bedded down under a sun blanket while we went to get chicken wings. To our surprise the 'sand rooster tail' couple were at the bar telling the bartender about their rental boat adventure sans the 'sand rooster tail.'

Our wings were hot and spicy. They warmed us up and would keep a fire in our bellies until we got back to the 'Dead End Canal.' We couldn't help overhear the giddy chatter from the couple who, we understood from their conversation, were from Ohio. They claimed to have a boat on Lake Erie and were in the process of moving to Fort Myers Beach.

When they were leaving, Jersey Joe couldn't help himself, “You sure were lucky today!”

“How's that,” asked the woman. “Driving through sandbars usually isn't a good idea,” said blabber mouth Joe.

“Do you know how cold that water is? I'm not getting in that water to push the boat off,” said the smiling man.

“Leave it alone, Joe. They don't have sandbars in Ohio,” I said. “They have big rocks,” said the woman. “Do you drive over big rocks in Ohio,” I asked angrily. “Don't be silly, you can't drive over big rocks,” she said laughing.

The husband was getting the idea that were were chastising them for their actions and pulled on his wife's jacket but she wasn't through. “I suppose you know everything just like those dock dummies who stood by while we hit the dock? All they did was jump back instead of helping us!”

It isn't often that we 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' members are at a loss for words but between the overwhelming urge to laugh in her face and the shock effect of her anger at the dock guys, we were. Finally, Phil sputtered out, “Take a safe boating course!”

They left. “I hope the ##### #### Marina has their credit card on file so they can bill them for the impeller or water pump the sand destroyed. In any event, that engine will be running hot soon. Just like these wings,” said Joe. “Waitress, could we have another order?”

*(redacted because of possible liability)

** (redacted because of possible liability)

Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com.... Former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up on the "Boating Show" 1995 to 2000. 

Producer/Director/Editor of "Dining out SWFL" and "Boater's Treasures TV." TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep sending those great questions and comments to boatguiEd@aol.com.