The big disappointment! PART ONE!

Has boating become the big disappointment? On a recent outing to the Pukin' Pelican we were approached by a newbie to Fort Myers Beach. He arrived at our table with a pitcher of Bud Light (what most of the Dead End Canal Yacht Club members drink) and asked to sit into our bullshit session. Up to that point we were feeling mighty good.

"It feels so good to see green things." Cleveland Jack had been extolling us with tales of the frozen North and his new found appreciation of our little slice of paradise. "Eight below zero when I got on the plane. Who could live like that when there are places like this?"

"I hope I'm not interrupting but then again I guess I am," said the stranger. "You see I've been vacationing on Fort Myers Beach for 15 years but just moved here full time a year and a half. boatguy Ed, I've been reading your column in the Fort Myers Beach Observer for a long time and have missed you since you stopped writing them."

Assuming he wanted to know what happened, I said, "They changed directions because I said something bad about the new Pope and other religious people!"

"Let's not rehash that stuff again," said Boston Bob. "It's sufficient to say he got too big for his britches!"

"I am sorry that you aren't doing the column because I really enjoyed it but that isn't the reason I came by," he said. 

We all slid forward in our chairs because the stranger had a slight air of sadness in his manner and we thought the real reason would be a good one. "I really am sad and disappointed about boating on Fort Myers Beach. When I was vacationing here I was determined to get on the water at least every other day and I did."

"That's a noble pursuit,” said Erie Earl. We all agreed. He agreed and we drank a toast to every other day boating.

His face brightened but quickly the gloom returned. “Since I moved to the beach permanently I've been very disappointed in the boating around here. I selected my island house very carefully but I wish I was on the North end instead of down by Santini Plaza, maybe there's more boating here?”

We all mumbled condolences and encouraged him to cast off his dock lines and head out the pass! “Nobody goes boating anymore. I've been up and down the canals around my place for a year and I don't see anyone on their boats. The boats rot on their lifts while their owners sit and watch TV or vegetate in some other manner!”

“Boating is hard work with a big reward,” I said. “You have to be committed, be in good health and have someone to go with you to enjoy the pleasure.”

“Some young hottie bartenders who don't mind boating topless helps,” said Sailor Ed.

TO BE CONTINUED

Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com.... Former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up on the "Boating Show" 1995 to 2000. 

Producer/Director/Editor of "Dining out SWFL" and "Boater's Treasures TV." TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep sending those great questions and comments to boatguiEd@aol.com.