Boating; Mother Nature attends our pub crawl.
The traditional Friday night pub crawl is very well attended. We easily could have had 4 or five more aboard except the boat is only rated for 11. We don't break the law for nobody. The guests of honor were Run-aground Ralph and his new paramour, Hot Tamale'.
The Cuban bombshell had replaced the third Mrs. Ralph in the abode. "Ralph and I are eeen love," Hot Tamale' declared. Then she passed around her cell phone showing a picture of a of an old man wearing a Cheshire cat grin, wrinkled skin and sporting a speedo, standing beside Hottie who was in the nude beside his pool.
"Geez, I've been struck blind," said Boston Bob as he quickly passed the phone to his wife who declined to look at it and passed it on. "Somebody photo shop that old geezer out of there."
"The only thing that could make this worse would be if Ralphie was playing Anthony Wiener," said Erie Earl, "but you look nice." He was reluctant to pass it on since he was able to block out Ralph's image with his thumb.
The rest of the table that wanted to, got a good look at the phone. The men blocked out Ralph and ogled the 40 something 'over all' tanned Hottie.
"I think he looks good without his speedo. I think Tony Wiener is hot, don't you girls? It's a sign of love to send such a picture," Hot Tamale said. That caused a lot of squirming among the other two women in the group but no denials. It was a 'do you still beat your wife' question.
"If it was a sign of love he should have sent it to his wife," said the Rev, "it's a sign of a sick mind to repeat this form of sexual harassment."
Flash, crack, Kaboom! Just as if God himself or Mother Nature agreed with that pronouncement. The rain poured down and blew sideways into the bar. The busboys dropped the shutters and we were nice and dry until the drips from the ceiling started.
We sat in silence. There was no use trying to out shout the forces of nature. Receptacles were provided to catch the drips and within the time it took to consume a 20oz beer the rain stopped.
Cleveland Jack broke the silence. "Rev, could you leave me at the Big Game (www.biggamewaterfrontgrill.com/) they have all you can eat Snow Crab legs and the Indians play at 7:05 so I'll sit there and eat crab and watch the game. Besides my wife is out of town and all this women weenier talk doesn't do me any good!"
I think the pub crawl would have ended at the Pelican but now the Rev had a mission and we all decided to go along. The Game had a 5 for $10 bucket of Bud Light special so we split a few and the Rev took us home. "I'm taking a cab," promised Jack!
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
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