Boating; Don't BS the BSers

 

As a club, we were anxious to view the new menu at the 'Pukin' Pelican! Which by the way does not serve Pelican unlike the Mucky Duck on Captiva Island who is rumored to serve those goofy looking Muscovy Ducks that used to poop all over my driveway. We're not sure if they do, the menu doesn't list a Duck dinner but some duck fingers. In any event, I am glad they aren't around the canal as much.

Back to the Pelican, we have established that they DO NOT serve Pelican and are in the middle of a menu change. Over the last couple of weeks they have been putting samplers out for comment. Usually? the comments are gathered together and the results are entered into a spread sheet for analysis. Then the results are discussed by the Chef, owner of course and other trusted employees.

That isn't quite how the Pelican does it. Several “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” members, myself included have been studious in our attempts to fulfill the management's request for comment. We must have missed something because the General Manager Witch has been strolling around at Happy Hour asking for clarifications.

Boston Bob, the fool, signed his breakfast comment card. “What the heck does this mean, 'home fries undercooked,'” she demanded. Bob stammered out a weak reply and then went off to the bathroom. “WE MAKE THESE FRESH EVERY DAY!”

“That's why we eat breakfast at Marti's,” said Punxy Phil. “They do it right so they don't care what the customer thinks as long as they come back.”

“All you people care about is cheap beer. Bob is the only one of you who comes off happy hour.” You could hear the eyeballs click as we looked at each other and thought, 'Not anymore.'

“I applaud your effort to poll your customers about the upcoming menu items but I question your ability to handle that info,” I said.

“... and don't think I can't tell which cards are yours! You didn't sign it like I knew you wouldn't but I can tell by the high brow words you use. Anything you don't like WILL make the new menu,” she said.

“You've had the same menu for nearly four years. Of course we're tired of it but we've been tired of it for two years. Now you've switched food purveyors once again. Not to make the quality go up but to save money. We've seen XYZ's trucks coming in and out of here. They've put a lot of restaurants out of business because there portions are smaller and the quality is low to lower,” I said.

Boston Bob returned and his face was flush from anger. “You've got a lot of nerve Sister calling anyone out. All you're doing is building an excuse for this menu change. My comment card will end up in the circular file just like every other negative review!”

“She don't care what we think, Bob is right so drink up. I remember when the hamburger was bigger than the Quarter Pounder but now it's half that size for the old price.” Our gang and many other happy hour patrons agreed.

“Where is the spaghetti we requested years ago,” said Cleveland Jack. “Where's the Lobster roll,” shouted Boston Bob.

She didn't wait to hear us, her car was spotted on the highway by a new customer before we were through. At least she listened enough to know, we knew what she was doing. Drink up, it's a short walk home!

Boatguy Ed (boatguiEd@aol.com)is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint,www.supershipbottom.com. TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.