Paddy O'Donnelan back from the old Country

"So the over abiding question, me Lads, where does it rain more, County Cork or Fort Myers Beach," asked Paddy O'Donnelan as he took down his Hurricane shutters. As you know Paddy just finished a 6-week bus tour of the Free States. By which he means the Southern Irish country.

"I have no idea but I'm going to guess it is Fort Myers Beach," said Paddy's good friend and loyal beer holder, Boston Bob.

"I have no idea either but I think you are an idiot to take the shutters down just before Hurricane season," said Run-aground Ralph.

"It's too dark in there with them up and I need light on my old bones," said Paddy. "It rained for 43 out of 42 days we were in Ireland. The damned rain followed us all around the country."

Not to besmirch Paddy's reputation or nothing but he tends to exaggerate a bit. After all, he is a direct import from the old Sod. Ruddy faced and bulbous nosed, Ginger hair, gone to Gray and a twinkle in his eye whenever a charming Lass goes passed. Especially if she is carrying a Guinness. He has come by his failings in an honest way.

Born in County Cork Ireland and smuggled into this country on a Tramp Steamer, Little Paddy was dropped into the midst of New York City at the age of eight years old. Sixty years ago he attended Ps112 in Harlem and was a very popular little fellow among all the Black kids at his school. He set a school record for having been in a fight every one of his grade school days.

"I don't know how I survived but most of my classmates are still my friends today. I boxed in the Golden Glove, 135-pound division and made it all the way up to the finals in my Junior year. I just couldn't see the left hook coming. After high school, yes I finished high school because my mentor, a black boxing coach kept me going. I went up on the iron for two years. Then I joined the Marines. Came back after 2 tours in Nam and opened a bar, of course, and worked the iron."

I, boatguy Ed, showed up just as they were putting the last piece of plywood in his garage. Last year, Paddy gave away his galvanized steel shutters cause they made him nervous because they banged so when went up and came down. 

"The galvanized looked better," I said to Paddy.

"I'm glad to be rid of them! I kept ducking a hammer or such falling through the iron. Plywood is fine with me," he confirmed. "So tell me does it rain on Fort Myers Beach more than County Cork?"

 "I only know it has rained nearly every day since March," I lied. When you're trading fibs with an Irishman, it's better to lie big!

"I got the weather reports from Texarkana Hanna every day and I felt bad for my adopted home but in County Mayo, it rained twice a day, in Dublin three times a day," said Paddy with a straight face of an altar boy. 

He had me! 

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. 

Strictly Satire! 

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. 

Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. 

Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. 

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