Welcome back from Harvey!

We welcomed the 'Reverend' back from Corpus Christi, Texas last night with a fish dinner at the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' club house which is my triple wide garage. Wife gets one end and since I park my truck outside, the club gets the first two for the meetings and beer kegs.

“I almost wish I could start drinking again,” said the Reverend as he sipped on his Mountain Dew, “the things I've seen is the Devil's work.”

“I thought it was Climate change,” said Run-aground Ralph sarcastically. The way we glowered at him made him go for another free Bud Lite.

'Hypocrite' the Reverend mumbled as Ralph walked away. “I 'tasked' (text ask) him for a donation while I was out there and he said 'He gave at the office.' He's a Christian in name only, him and that Cap'n Crunch.” The Rev went back to the Butter and Onion Grouper. It is his favorite and we've had the Grouper on ice for quite a while.

Texarkana Hanna pulled up a folding chair and asked, “So how was it Rev?” The Rev reminded her that he had asked her to come with him but she had declined. “I can't go back to Texas. I'd never leave if I did. Especially not after I talked my family into coming here. They just left for Disney, why not!”

“They were smart to get out early,” said the Reverend. “I was in Corpus Christie and it was bad there. A lot of wind damage but not the flooding like Huston. Nobody got off easy!”

“They evacuated with the other 3 million Hustonians during Rita. They ran out of gas stuck on a highway and slept in an old barn. Half their block burned down during the storm so they rebuilt on stilts. A lot of their neighbors are camping in their house right now,” said Hanna.

And they're in Disney Land? Are they sorry they left this time,” asked Boston Bob.

“I sure as hell wouldn't be sorry to be dry,” said Erie Earl. “I can't turn on the TV anymore from looking at them people. Why aren't all them homes on poles?”

“The neighbors criticized my Uncle for doing just that. After he died my Aunt wanted to sell but her kids wouldn't hear of it. Her granddaughter, Maybelline and husband own it now and I talked until I was blue in the face trying to get most of the family to come here for a vacation. I've spent 10 grand getting them here and Disney and hotels on the beach and then it rains and floods HERE!”

“That was good money spent. The Lord Jesus would approve,” said the Rev.

“He sent me the money when I married that no good for nothin' truck driver. He cheated and lied and was never home but he died owning a trucking company and I got the biggest share,” Hanna said,

“so God gave me the money and I'm giving it away but I'll tell you true, not another penny to Pastor Joel and his mega church!”

We think the Reverend enjoyed his homecoming even though he didn't say before he fell asleep in his Potato Salad. We'll continue tomorrow Happy Hour on his Tri-Toon at the Pukin' Pelican and the Nauti Parrot Dock Bar.

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com