Watching the boats come and go!

Sitting along the rail at the Nauti! The high bar stools make perfect viewing after a long hard day with a 'happy hour' cocktail in hand and the shady umbrella overhead. There isn't a bad seat in the old Channel Mark but some of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' members prefer the rail because some like to stand and some like to sit semi-circle to facilitate conversation and still see the water.

Why would we boaters need to see the water?? We live on water, boat on water and bathe in it. Some of us even drink it, although they usually insist it come from a plastic sealed bottle rather than a tap, so why we wonder.

Personally, when I'm not boating, I like to watch boaters and the rail at the Nauti Parrot Dock Bar is an ideal spot. Especially on weekends boat come and go regularly. When the tide is slack (not moving) it is a piece of cake to look good docking but when the tide is running, look out! 'Run-aground Ralph' and 'Cap'n Crunch' are very unpleasant whenever we allow them to accompany us, which isn't often. They refuse to acknowledge the skillful landing yet hoot and holler approvingly when an approaching vessel bangs into the dock.

We hit the ignorant members with our hats or whatever to keep them quiet but they still get out a squeak. It's the same when a restaurant server drops a tray, the crashing sound startles some but many mid-western people applaud and cheer. Don't ask us why. “It must be a tradition in Pennsyltuckey,” Boston Bob always says.

Working in a busy restaurant is hard and accidents are bound to happen. Docking is a skill and docking when the tide is running at the Nauti Parrot is difficult, to say the least. Why, a non-boater might ask? After all the docks are wide, well maintained and there is someone around to give advice or lend a hand. Not an official full time dock master but there are plenty of willing helpers.

The Nauti Parrot is situated on the very narrow Hurricane Pass and when the tide is moving it can really rip through. Most novice boaters, especially from the no-tide Great Lakes fail to take the tidal movement into account. They line up their bow on the dock and move right in. But wait, wait what happened to the steering. Or did the dock move? Why is the boat banging into the piling? And then the crew is yelling and one or more are hanging on to a piling while the boat is backing away!

Not much damage but it is embarrassing because the skipper wanted to show off for the crowd and now they're laughing or looking away. What to do next? Make another attempt, listen to the ppl on the dock giving advice or go home? So they go home or back to the boat club or ramp. They make a mental note not to go back to that place again by boat.

Yet the next boat makes a nice, no bang, no panic landing in the same space. If the first boat is able to see it,it adds to his embarrassment. It might take him a year to figure it out why the other boat approached at a weird angle but he'll get it sooner or later. Nothing went wrong with his steering and the dock didn't move but the water underneath the boat was moving sideways. There is a technique to docking cross tide!

“Most of that skipper's problem is pride. He wanted to land where everyone could see them. Look at me but they laughed up their sleeves,” said Boston Bob. There wasn't anyone wearing sleeves on that sunny afternoon, it was just his New England way of talking. “If he had picked the docks in front of the restaurant it would have a different outcome. The water goes by there a lot slower but there aren't as many people to watch!” Practice makes perfect! Don't ever laugh at fellow boaters!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com