Last Membership Meeting DECYC '16
Club News and Updates;
Since we now have a brand new group of
Condos on the off-shoot of the Dead End Canal we have new members in
our “Dead End Canal Yacht Club.” There is an eight slip
mini-Marina and since most of the new residents are 'out-of'-staters'
University types, six out of the eight are filled with sailboats.
Cap'n Crunch and Run-aground Ralph were extremely disturbed by their Stepford Wives act and cheerfulness.
Each pairing had offered to take us 'stink potters' (our description
not theirs) along for a joyous ride on their 'beautiful sailboats'!
And the more the old stink potters groused , the cheerier they got.
When their Volvos sported minimal support bumper stickers for
that Lady who ran for
President, Cap'n Crunch and Run-aground Ralph went on a Witch Hunt to uncover the names of the sponsoring members who had dared weaken the iron clad grip of us old stink potters on the club. After the election Cap'n Crunch and Run-aground Ralph mailed several messages likening 'blow boaters' to cheap and unfriendly Canadians, whom they'd blackballed years hence!
Some of our members, like Minnesota
Dino have a monetary interest in maintaining the purity of our club
even tho there is nothing specific in the by-laws about type of
vessel. Dino is in the powerboat business and an ally of the guardians of
purity. They don't seem to be concerned about the Ocean-Kayaks owned by the
young woman who inherited a house on the canal. And whatever their
sexual preferences might be is of no concern of Cap'n Crunch and
Run-aground Ralph because they wear the barest skimpy minimum when on the
water.
“Not that they have much to cover,”
agree the monitors of decorum. “The female form is pleasing to my
eye,” says Crunchie, “and the other one is built like a 12 year
old boy!” No attempt has been made to sponsor them, yet. MORE TO COME...
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
At the year end meeting on December
17th we inducted four out of the five applicants. The
fifth being absent because of family dragging them off to Disney
world. For the ceremony, they newbies dressed up in their newest boat
shoes, khaki slacks and blue polo shirts from whatever Yacht Club
would've had them up North. The men wore tiny pennants, Rhodes
Scholarship pins,
phi beta kappa keys and Eagle
Scout medals.
The women wore 'Daughters of the
American Revolution' necklaces, ear rings and pins. Every one of
the
four woman were a solid '5'. Not worse nor better and they dressed
and wore make up specifically to be for an average woman. Every DECYC male
member had, admired the skill, agility and willingness of the female crews aboard the sailboats.
Nary a one lay prone in the cockpit as
the boat approached the dock, nary a one! They stood on the bow,
boat hook at the ready with dock lines at their feet awaiting the
skippers orders. Once nestled in their berths, the ladies and men
washed and pampered their boats.
Most of the membership had no problem
allowing them to join. Just as in the movie 'Animal House' the
prevailing attitude was, “why not, we need the dues!”
When their Volvos sported minimal support bumper stickers for
that Lady who ran forPresident, Cap'n Crunch and Run-aground Ralph went on a Witch Hunt to uncover the names of the sponsoring members who had dared weaken the iron clad grip of us old stink potters on the club. After the election Cap'n Crunch and Run-aground Ralph mailed several messages likening 'blow boaters' to cheap and unfriendly Canadians, whom they'd blackballed years hence!
One of them must work in the print shop
at the University because a variety of bumper stickers were left in
mailboxes on and around the Canal. One left leaning but
indecipherable sticker read 'TRUMP '16 because thinking is hard!'
Another one was more damning proof; 'POWERBOATS; BECAUSE THINKING IS
HARD!' Let the battle Royale, begin!
Some of our members, like Minnesota
Dino have a monetary interest in maintaining the purity of our club
even tho there is nothing specific in the by-laws about type of
vessel. Dino is in the powerboat business and an ally of the guardians of
purity. They don't seem to be concerned about the Ocean-Kayaks owned by the
young woman who inherited a house on the canal. And whatever their
sexual preferences might be is of no concern of Cap'n Crunch and
Run-aground Ralph because they wear the barest skimpy minimum when on the
water.This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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