Thank You For Your Service


Oh sweet Memorial Day! When us live Vets get praised for staying alive and our dead comrades have tiny American flags placed near their headstones. “I'm getting sick and tired of people thanking me for my service,” said Boston Bob.

“Quit griping,” said Cap'n Crunch, “take the thanks and live with it.”

“I especially enjoy being thanked by draft dodgers,” I said. Crunchy strongly objected. He wasn't a draft dodger, he was a loyal American who served in the Illinois National Guard from 1965 to 1971.

“Why did you join the Guard,” asked Hard Luck Hanna. Crunchy gave a half-heart-ed explanation about his sick Mother and his Union apprenticeship in his Father's company.

“Thank you for your service,” said Run-aground Ralph. I thanked him and asked which branch he served in. “I joined the Navy but transferred to the Coast Guard.”

“They did some great work on the rivers in Nam. Did you and John Kerry serve together,” asked Boston Bob.

“I would have never served with that yellow Commie. I was stationed on the Great Lakes for four years. We rescued a lot of people and guarded the border,” said Ralph. He also got a Master's degree in business from Case Western University.

“So you hid out on Lake Erie for four years? Never volunteered for Nam? Never transferred anywhere? Well that was special,” I said. “We should be thanking you for your service, too?”

“Hey Betty, bring us another round for us heroes,” said Hanna. We asked her when and where she served. “1991, Gulf War. I was a nurse and met my my husband there. Then I came back and we worked for the VA.”

Betty brought the beer. “My ex-husband did three tours in Afghanistan and now he's crazy as a loon. There ain't enough thanks.....”

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