Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

I guess the boat sank but no mention of it! News Release Coast Guard rescues 4 divers 20 miles off Panama City PANAMA CITY, Fla. — A Coast Guard aircrew rescued four divers approximately 20 miles off Panama City, Friday. Watchstanders at Coast Guard Sector Mobile, Ala., received an overdue report for the divers. A Coast Guard Air Station New Orleans MH-65 Dolphin helicopter crew, staged at Destin for the holiday weekend, and a Coast Guard Station Panama City response boatcrew were launched. The helicopter crew located the four divers holding up flashlights in the water. The aircrew hoisted the four people and brought them to awaiting EMS at Tyndall Air Force Base for a medical evaluation. “In this case we had enough information to determine this was a search and rescue case and effectively search when they were supposed to return, where they launched from, and where they were going. The actions of the divers to have a plan, have the right equipment and sta...

Some of you like the Pukin' Pelican but most positive comments are from out-of-towners who will probably never get there. It is a catchy name, reverse marketing ploy and all. Most people are afraid to order food but I have to admit our "Dead End Canal Yacht Club'' members really do like some of the food even though the menu hasn't changed in a long time. The vast majority of the respondents have complained about the logo, mostly because they hate the name, period. They have sent me vile e-mails as if I had a hand in naming the place? This falls under the "don't shoot the messenger" heading, so boycott the place if you must but don't take it out on me. I have brought this to the attention of the management. They don't care!   Q; Why didn't you tell us about the horseshoe tournament last weekend? My wife and I are new and are pretty good with the shoes? A: Sorry, I think it was a private affair because, even though we are regulars...

During a delivery of a 44 Viking from Annapolis to the Keys, we were moving right along but moving to slow. We got caught by the owner's son in Jacksonville and he and a girlfriend came aboard for the final legs. No problem, sit down, shut up and hold on. When you are being paid by the day with expenses, having the owner on board can be pleasantly entertaining. They aren't in a hurry and usually pay for everything but this delivery was a 'bid' contract. Getting the boat to it's destination quickly was the only way to make money. Every delay eroded the profit margin. The owner's was son drunk when we picked him up and the girl didn't seem to know him very well. Almost immediately we were ordered to find a Yacht Club for the overnight. There was at least 3 and maybe 4 hours of daylight left but the new crew wanted to party with some rich 'Yacht types.' When I didn't veer off the waterway into their destination, the son threatened me with muti...

Speaking of mutinies, I seldom approve but there are times and places for everything. I think Saturday and overnight Sunday might have been a perfect scenario. Several members of our world famous "Dead End Canal Yacht Club" wanted to do some deep sea fishing. As you know, deep in the Gulf of Mexico means way out there. http://www.soundingsonline.com/dispatches/290946-video-marlin-jumps-into-boat The Captain of a local fishing charter boat promised 24 hours of blissful fishing 80 miles from shore. They always promise something like that but rarely fulfill the dream. "That's why they call it fishing, not catching," is there standard retort. The rest of the club was involved in our Sunday brunch so we didn't pay much attention. I did inquire if they'd filed a float plan but that was the extent of my concern. They got back in on Sunday at 6:30 pm and no one saw them until happy hour at the Big Game Waterfront Grill on Tuesday. We could tell they were...

Date: Aug. 24, 2013 Contact: D7 PADET CENTRAL Office: (305) 965-4672 Coast Guard reminds boaters to stay safe in wake of recent close calls ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - In the wake of numerous recent emergencies on the water, the Coast Guard is reminding mariners to play it safe in the Tampa Bay area, Friday. "Just a few simple practices can keep most mariners out of trouble at sea," said Capt. Gregory Case, Coast Guard Sector St. Petersburg's commanding officer. •       Make sure a friend or relative knows your float plan. A float plan states where you are going and how many people are aboard your vessel. It also gives a vessel description, details your destination and what time you expect to arrive there. If you are delayed for some reason, make sure you let someone know. •       Have working communication equipment aboard your vessel. A VHF-FM radio is the best method of communication while on th...

New Logo for a favorite Fort Myer Beach Restaurant and Bar. Never mind the name, once you get past the smell of the old fish house, it is great!   You have to go just to see how bad it could be but then your impressed 'cause it wasn't as bad as you expected!  It's at the end of the dead End Canal!

http://www.boatus.com/seaworthy/magazine/2013/july/electric-shock-drowning-explained.asp Leaking Electricity from your Dock can kill your Grandchildren!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLrBb6tKC8E Big Game Horseshoe Tournament 2012 “It's going to be 100 degrees today and the humidity will be 99 % so it the perfect storm of summer weather,” said Erie Earl as he treaded water in the pool. The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' had it's weekly Sunday morning brunch at Earl's house. He'd made the food and was hot from standing over the grill. “The Eggs Benedict were deeelicious, Mr. Earl,” said hot Tamale as she helped clean up the aftermath. Earl said she was welcome and smiled to himself because he received more compliments than 'Boston Bob' for his brunch effort. Time was, we couldn't get anyone to cook so the the 'Ladies Axillary' had to cook every week. That got old and for a while we went out every Sunday. Boston Bob was the one who revived the tradition. Mostly because he was to cheap to pay for breakfast, he is a sailor you know. Last summer he cooked every Sunday because he didn'...

I stopped fishing inshore right after the river water turned black. We haven't seen a lot of fish kill now because our fish are smart. They've gone to Charlotte County or Collier but the sea grass in the river will die so why would they return? How did this start? In 1926 there was a Hurricane that blew all the water out of the Lake O and killed thousands. Tragic, so the Corps of Engineers built a dike (can't call it a damn) and then Miami and Fort Lauderdale started taking water from the Everglades and then the dairy farmers moved in north of the big lake. A perfect pollution storm. We recreational boaters can't be excused from this mess either. We demand that the lake contain enough water for recreation and travel. We cross the state through the lake and the fastest route is the one across the lake rather than the rim route. The farmers allowed fertilizer and cow poopy water to flow into O and the recreational boaters demanded a fuller lake and the East Coas...

Everyone should refresh their knowledge of lights after the tragedy of the death of the bride to be at they Nyac Bridge.

I was slowly cruising the Oak Street/Compass Rose Boatyard canal recently when a ghost appeared. It might have been the heat shimmering up from the piles of empty sand but I thought I saw buildings and boats. The old Compass Rose was there before my eyes. The three stack storage barn blocked out the emptiness beyond. The travel lift held a 36 footer in it's slings and a yard worker was pressure washing the boat. I could hear the office paging the yard manager over the loud speaker. "Bob Cook, please come to the office!" It was all back the way it was before Hurricane Wilma. I rubbed my eyes and realized I'd traveled through a worm hole and back. It was all gone and I was back to the stark reality of 'how it is' in 2013. I let my Biddison 22' drift into one of the empty 'new' docks and shut off the engine so I might hear the forklift engine roar once more. There wasn't any roar or bell from the back-up warning. It wasn't Hurricane W...

Boston Bob is still driving 14 hours every other day for the airport taxi line. He wonders if the riders coming off the late flights know how tired their drivers are? This is his favorite video? There is a report that the drivere died and the video was posted by his family to warn drivers not to drive tired an to WEAR  seatbelts. The driver was thrown into the back seat and crushed when the cab landed on it's roof!   www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZCU9XyNV70 Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com . TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK! T his blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

What a day at the MATANZAS BACK BAY PIG ROAST AND LUAU! It started at noon and went into the early evening despite several squalls. The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' was officially represented by Cleveland Jack who was dressed for a real Luau! Jack reported that the food was delicious, pig was extremely tender and beer was cold. I talked to Chef Dave who was hard at work on the pig and sweating his ass off in the 90 degree heat and tending the 200 hundred degree smoker. He said they weren't his kills because they had to come through a food purveyor but they were sizable!  All day entertainment by the "Dubious Brothers! Can't wait for next time!   Photo from Matanzas Inn Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Matanzas-Inn-Resort/124872819458?ref=stream&hc_location=timeline Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com . TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is h...

An old friend sent me a comment on this blog; "Do you remember when we took my motor sailor up the river during Trop-storm Keith?" As I recalled it was 1989 but I now realize through a computer search that it was mid-November 1988. I was living at Boardwalk Caper near Ft. Myers Beach and had a Yacht Watch service. Bill W was a client and he was convinced that Keith was coming right at us. He was darned near right. He convinced me to help him move his "Gypsy Moth" up the river two days before the storm made landfall on the Boardwalk Caper canal. He had it all planned out. There was an oxbow just north of Marina 31 that offered good shelter and strong mangroves. The first step was leaving my pick-up truck and his inflatable dinghy about twenty miles upriver in the marina parking lot. We drove his car back home and started across the bay towards the mouth of the Caloosahatchee river. He dropped me at the marina and I followed him to his oxbow. It was near nig...

  As a club, we were anxious to view the new menu at the 'Pukin' Pelican! Which by the way does not serve Pelican unlike the Mucky Duck on Captiva Island who is rumored to serve those goofy looking Muscovy Ducks that used to poop all over my driveway. We're not sure if they do, the menu doesn't list a Duck dinner but some duck fingers. In any event, I am glad they aren't around the canal as much. Back to the Pelican, we have established that they DO NOT serve Pelican and are in the middle of a menu change. Over the last couple of weeks they have been putting samplers out for comment. Usually ? the comments are gathered together and the results are entered into a spread sheet for analysis. Then the results are discussed by the Chef, owner of course and other trusted employees. That isn't quite how the Pelican does it. Several “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” members, myself included have been studious in our attempts to fulfill the management's request fo...

Words I never thought I'd say to a young woman; "Please put your top on.... How times have changed. The last fling of summer was always blur of partying but today it is more likely an alcohol induced stupor for many of our future leaders. Almost make me glad I won't be around. I am speaking of college students and their friendly bartenders. Once the brain-iacs reach 21, they don't have to sneak alcohol into their dorms or frat houses. They can saunter into any bar, drop dad's underwritten credit card on the bar and proceed to get plastered on shots of Jägermeister . "I've seen them drink themselves sober, if that's possible," said a local bartender. And in that vane I volunteered to take a few college students out to Picnic Island for a day picnic. Three college girls, two college boys, a bartender and a waitress joined in. I can't identify who the college kids are related to except to say all are "Dead End Canal Yacht Club" m...

Cleaning a boat with flamamble liquids? WTF? Don't know all the details but two men were cleaning this boat with a liquid that caught fire and burned them and the boat.    No matter how dried on fish blood is, never use gasoline or other explosives to clean the boat. Will update!

Boating; Sailor’s Eye! by boatguy Ed As I progressed into larger sailboats I understood that the closer the boats were matched the more important it was to understand wind. It is the same as adjusting an Indy 500 car in the middle of a race to gain more speed and use the conditions at hand. Some racers simply add more power but that rarely wins races in sailing or around the asphalt oval. Sailboats designed for racing are as different to cruising boats as Indy cars are to my pick-up truck. Racing vehicles are lightweight and built for speed. My truck is fast and has its advantages but not as fast as a stripped down frame with a shell of a body. Sails are the throttles of a sailboat but the standing wire is the frame. Pull in a sail rope called a sheet and feel the boat accelerate. Adjust the wire rigging to rake the mast back a little and it helps the boat track better and go a little faster. The hard charging racer rebuilds his racing machine nearly every season yet cruising...

Boating; Sailor’s Eye! by boatguy Ed “Why should I watch my hat,”Run-aground Ralph said to me as he stood on the bow of my small fishing boat. He likes the big broad brimmed straw hats that are lightweight and protect a lot of skin from the sun and hopefully more Cancer. I'd cautioned him about putting a clip on strap between the hat and his shirt collar but he knew better. "You think you know everything!" I was way to proud of myself as he was leaning over the short gunwale of the boat trying to fish out the floating hat. A sudden gust of sea breeze had come across the calm summer morning and caught him unprepared. Ralph glowered at me when he tried to make the soggy hat stay on his head. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “It’s my sailor’s eye!” “Baloney, sailor’s eye, never heard of such nonsense,” grumbled Ralph as he went on casting. I tossed him a Pabst Blue Ribbon ball cap and he reluctantly put it on. Across the glassy smooth w...

Gag Grouper season is open in Southwest Florida, yeah! Now if we could just afford to go out 30 miles to catch them. Does $1,200 sound exspensive to you for 80 to 120 lbs of fish? Real Grouper that is. Goes for $16 to $20 per pound. ($18 X 100 = $1,800) or 2 Twenty pounders might net out at 25 pounds x $18lbs = $450. Not to mention the fun day on the water? Where's my pole? http://www.eregulations.com/florida/fishing/saltwater/pageflip/

A startling realistic (from the trailer anyway) movie about survival at sea with Robert Redford! "All is Lost" See trailer by clicking link below..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk_R04LfUQU

SOUNDINGS VIDEO: ‘It was an accident waiting to happen’ Posted on 06 August 2013 Police suspect the driver, Jojo K. John, 35, was intoxicated at the time of the crash, although no alcohol was found on the boat. John has been charged with manslaughter. Last week, the Coast Guard released its weekly Local Notice to Mariners that contains new and more detailed information about the Tappan Zee Bridge project, including that there are “tugs and barges that are lit” in the construction zone. “When transiting the area mariners should stay clear of these locations by a minimum of 1,000 feet,” the notice says . “Mariners are advised to transit the main channel, reduce wake and use extreme caution while transiting the area in the vicinity of the Tappan Zee Bridge.” http://www.soundingsonline.com/dispatches/290799-video-it-was-an-accident-waiting-to-happen I'M POSITIVE THAT THIS SKIPPER NEVER READ THE NOTICE TO MARINERS, WHY WOULD HE?

A couple of weeks ago I got an angry call from a new customer, "Your website claims`that you have one of the easiest paints to apply but the yard where I took my boat is charging $90 per hour to put your paint on." "They don't have separate rates for mechanical and painting?" He told me all of their work is billed out at the $90 rate. "Have them put your boat back in the water and shop around." He still wasn't happy so I told him to ship the paint back for a refund. He hasn't. I called the yard and spoke to the ship store manager/secretary/work order writer who confirmed the fact of the one and only labor rate. "Do you pay your bottom painters the same as your factory trained mechanics?" No! "I didn't think so. How can you charge the same rate for a seasoned, trained mechanic with his own specialty tools and a low tech bottom painter?" "Our bottom painters are highly trained and they receive a good wage. It...

News Release Date: July 27, 2013 Contact: 7th Coast Guard District Office: (305) 415-6683 Man clinging to capsized vessel rescued by Coast Guard MIAMI — A man was rescued by a Coast Guard Station Miami smallboat crew after he was found clinging to his capsized boat Saturday Morning. Coast Guard Sector Miami command center watchstanders recieved initial notification from Tow Boat U.S. that a MAYDAY call was heard over VHFM-Channel 16. Tow Boat U.S. reported they were able to communicate with the MAYDAY caller but with a weak signal. The caller stated that he was in the water holding on to his capsized vessel and had a handheld radio. The Coast Guard launched a smallboat crew from Station Miami and a helicopter crew from Coast Guard Air Station Miami. The helicopter crew found the man clinging onto his vessel 15 miles West of Bimini, Bahamas. The helicopter crew vectored in the boatcrew who safely rescued the man from water and transported him back t...

7th District Public Affairs U.S. Coast Guard News Release Date: Aug. 01, 2013 Contact: D7 PADET CENTRAL Office: (305) 965-4672 UPDATE: Coast Guard crews suspend the search for fisherman near Egmont Key, Fla. ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Coast Guard crews suspend the search Thursday evening for a missing 53-year-old male resident of Madeira Beach, Fla., who was last seen aboard the 42-foot fishing boat, No Bull, 78 miles northwest of Egmont Key, Wednesday. Sector St. Petersburg watchstanders received a relayed distress call from 7 th Coast Guard District watchstanders at 7:15 a.m., Wednesday, reporting Gary Ketlehut wasn’t aboard the No Bull when the crew awoke at 6 a.m. The crew of the No Bull stopped fishing at midnight Wednesday, and Ketlehut was last seen sleeping at the bow. Sector watchstanders launched an MH-60 Jayhawk helicopter crew and an HC-130 Hercules aircraft crew from Air Station Clearwater. Coast Guard Cutter Hawk, ...

Flash, crack, Kaboom! That is the way our summer has been. We loaded 11 Dead End Canal Yacht Club members onto the Rev's new tritoon boat. It has 3 hulls instead of 2 like his old boat and is said to be Gulf of Mexico seaworthy. Our first stop was the Pukin' Pelican because it is right at the end of our canal. The traditional Friday night pub crawl is very well attended. We easily could have had 4 or five more aboard except the boat is only rated for 11. We don't break the law for nobody. The guests of honor were Run-aground Ralph and his new paramour, Hot Tamale' . They had news to report like we didn't already know. The Cuban bombshell had replaced the third Mrs. Ralph in the abode. "Ralph and I are eeen love," Hot Tamale' declared. Then she passed around her cell phone showing a picture of a of an old man wearing a Cheshire cat grin, wrinkled skin and sporting a speedo, standing beside Hottie who was in the nude beside his pool. "Ge...

Last night at one of the best happy hours on San Carlos Island behind Fort Myers Beach (3 to 7), we were having a great time at the Big Game Waterfront Grill. We, the Dead End Canal Yacht Club members smelled something really rotten. Several of us complained of the dead fish smell to the 'beach's best bartender who passed on the complaint to assistant manager Derrick who went searching for a net and someone to remove the carcass'. Surprisingly, the boat club didn't have one but they agreed that it was a nuisance and wished they were gone. Derrick called over to the Salty Sam's Marina office for help. A dock hand came over with a boat hook because they didn't have a fish net neither. He pushed the floating carcasses away from the marina. The tide brought them back and we left. Pee-you! maybe the charter boats shouldn't throw that stuff in the water. Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.s...