Boating; Hot Tamale Wars!

'Run-aground Ralph' is up to his usual devious ways. Since 'Miami Enrico' introduced the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' to his newest girlfriend, 'Hot Tamale', Ralph is determined to change Rico's plans from coming with us on the first leg of the trip to going with him on the second leg.

“That will be hashed out at the Captain's meeting,” I said to 'Cracker Bob' while he demonstrated the refurbished water maker.

“It might be a long meeting. Ralph is hot to have her with them. I'll admit she looks good for a 45 year old especially in the skimpy Bikini I expect she'll wear,” said Bob with a far off look in his eyes. I tried to get him back on task by remarking that the water maker seemed to be drawing more current than before. “Everything is new. Not to worry,” Bob said confidently.”

Ralph was very persuasive when he was determined but there were strong arguments for the original lineup. As it stood myself, Punxee, Hot Tamale and Rico were scheduled on the first leg. Ralph, Gene, Cracker Bob and his wife would come down to Key West on the Ferry, abuse their livers for a night and then take the Tortugas Ferry out to relieve us. Our original four would reverse the process. I might take the plane back to Fort Myers if the www.supershipbottom.com paint business dictated.

I started formulating a plan. Since 'My 20%' slept 6 comfortably or 8 semi-comfortably under air conditioning, it was possible that Rico and Tamale could remain aboard for the return trip. They would stop in Key West to 'refuel' anyway and I think that might be a good alternative. Especially since Ralph and Rico aren't much help on the wheel.

'Run-aground Ralph' put the first shot across the bow while we gathered around Boston Bob's sailboat for cocktails. We were saving ourselves for Sunday night. “I think we can vary the lineup this year,” said Ralph.

“No way, I'm the cruise director this year and I'm not altering our plans at this late date,” I said sternly. I knew, he knew, what he was up to so I was going to play hard-ass just so he didn't think me easy. “So, Bob have you finalized your plans?”

No one really cared what 'Boston Bob' did as long as he got down and back safely but we were killing time and having a drink. “I'm leaving first light Monday and hopefully I'll be on the hook just after dawn Tuesday. Depending on the weather we'll do some additional sailing to await the light. Ahab Steve and Jean are coming down with us.”

We all were glad to have Ahab along. He was like McGiver who could build a space ship out of paper clips and wire hangers. He was also a very good dead reckoning navigator who seemed to always know where he was. Boston Bob was especially happy because Ahab had skill in repairing sails. He worked restoring wooden boats.

When we looked up from chitchatting I noticed Ralph had Enrico cornered and was working on him pretty good. I really didn't care except that I'd promised Rico a mess of fresh fish Tuesday night and he had been wildly excited. “I guess Hot Tamale might be getting traded,” I said to Punxee. He said he didn't care. He wanted to fish and snorkel off the Fort's reef.

I wanted those things very badly myself. I wished my wife was coming along again this year but her Mother needed her. She liked playing with the 'cuda as much as I did. During the middle of the day when we were all worn out and many of us were napping, I would 'catch' Barracuda from right under the anchored boat.

I would tie two pop tops from beer cans, along with a one ounce weight, to the end of a fishing line without a hook. When I dropped the rig over the side, it would spiral down with sparkles shooting off of it. This was too much for the 'cuda and they would shoot out of the shadow of our boat and seize the shiny thing.

 

Sometimes they would go half way across the anchorage before they would spit it out. After a while they got wise but I never reeled it back directly but stopped thirty or forty yards away so not to have them chase it into the boat which they have done with artificial spoons. People have been severely injured in this fashion. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.

Boatguy Ed (boatguiEd@aol.com) is a manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint,www.supershipbottom.com. TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site ishttp://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.