Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

January 20, 1966, 5:am on the train platform was a bitterly cold morning for several reasons. What else could you expect from the Lake Erie shore than cold wind and snow flakes. Add that to the fact that I, a 19 year old dreamer of heroism in far off lands, was on my way to the induction center in a major metropolitan city. My father was sorry to see me go, the way fathers are but had not offered any advice beyond a long previous admonishment Not To Join the Marines! He had nothing against the Corp except their nickname, Jar Heads. I think I remember jumping out a first floor window with excitement after watching an exciting WWII movie about Marines. So, despite being extremely hung over/drunk, I reaffirmed that vow as the train loaded with tomorrow's leaders/heroic dead. We must have been a sight, 19 out of 20 weeping, hugging, oath swearing I'll wait for you couples and me. So much lying going on! Anyway, the Draft Board clerk picked me to carry the records pa...

  ...and in the beginning, God created the Earth, the Sky and the Oceans. Not long afterwards, Man developed the drag line machine to easily create canals and gravel pits. Subsequently; old Black Joe renamed the Paradise Canal by sinking his fishing boat at the entrance. Paradise became Hell without a way to get out! 'The Molly B' wasn't there beyond the weekend but a living legend emerged. On today's maps and charts of Fort Myers Beach you won't find either referenced. That has played havoc with the water taxis that pop up every few years. We hoped Google Map would remedy the situation but they missed the turn. Most of our residents are resigned to the anonymity so when asked, they just say; “Turn left at the Pukin' Pelican!” Old timers don't have to ask or don't care but the County knows where we are because we get a tax bill every year. So we can't be as mythical as some people think we are, if 'Little Angel' Diaper Service...

Deadline Wednesday; Pukin' Pelican. We had lunch at the Pukin' Pelican today. To answer your question, no the food isn't that good but we, the Dead Canal Yacht Club members and friends, have decided to support the local watering holes as much as we can during the off-season. Especially since 'Bootlegger's BBQ and Waterfront' is rumored to have reverted to the Big Game just before closing for the summer. Does anyone know if that is in fact true? It makes sense because that has been pulled before by the owners. No good member of the DECYC goes there anymore so we rely on rumors from fallen away members to bring us news of the Yuckee place. It will reopen as Big Game in September but we still wouldn't be caught dead in their. The owners of 'Boot Kickens' were so often confused with Bootlegger's bad reviews on TripAdvisor that it could have lead to Boot Kickens demise. We DECYCers begged the owner of Boot Kickens to change the name b...

Nauti Parrot opening a new store (already have one in Marina town) May 1st in the old Channel Mark building. Most of my readers weren't of drinking age in 1989 when the Channel Mark moved into the fire damaged Seabrease/Pit BBQ restaurant on Hurricane Pass, San Carlos Blvd. The Pit had good BBQ and the Seabrease was a very colorful, rough house bar patronizing commercial fishermen and women plus rugged individuals from all walks of life. A fire in the BBQ pit burned a portion of the roof and the place closed in October 1985. The building was extensively renovated and became the Channel Mark until it became Tim's Place @ the Channel Mark in 2004 thru 2008. Afterwards it seemed to be a new place every 1 to 2 seasons. The most successful of the recent past was the Nauti Turtle. Least successful was 'Boot Kickens' which preceded Nauti Parrot. We, Dead End Canal Yacht Club members welcome a seasoned group of owners that will hopefully eradicate the 'Boo...

Sudden Loss The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' held a memorial drink fest at the Pukin' Pelican last weekend. We've been doing that a lot lately but most of the time it's for a resident who had moved off the canal to a Nursing home or a relatives house above the Mason Dixon Line. Hard Hearted Hannah's son was a part time resident at her abode whenever he wasn't off riding his Harley or working on a fishing boat or Shrimp boat. Hard Hearted Hannah lost her son last week. Not 'can't find him lost' but Dead lost. Some of us think he took his own life but the official report has it listed as an accident. It happened in a very dramatic manner, just off the old Tampa to Miami road, Tamiami Trail. Seems he was seated on a Mangrove leg on a remote Mangrove tree somewhere near the thousand islands. He had been camping with a female friend who speculated that suicide was his intent but didn't alert anyone for fear of losing the drugs he...

Boating is... by boatguy Ed While scanning thru the ever decreasing comments in my Blog about the Dead End Canal Yacht Club one particularly nasty one leaped from the handful. Leaving out all personal info from the writer except to say that I feel sorry for his obvious incarceration in whatever institution he is forced to reside. Here goes; "boatguy, you are as alike as two peas in a pod with all the other bullshit bloggers. At your own leisure, whenever you get around to it no matter the loyalty you've asked for from the people who you read your occasional drivel. No wonder you aren't in the papers anymore! Write about boats or take the easy way out, copy and paste news into your blog." "Don't leave us hanging weeks at a time and not tell us about developed characters that we've come to like, love and hate. F.O.", and then he signed it with his twitter handle. A true numb skull! I am not going to try to justify my inaction...

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