Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

If the Pirates were alive today they would be so proud of their descendants. Last weekend there were real, or maybe look-alike Pirates, occupying the beach and they weren't the dressed up bunch either. At least there wasn't any charge for the admission but the parking lots were doing land office business on Saturday but not so well on Sunday because of NFL football. There were two small blocks of booths quite willing to take the coin of the realm from you and a few food vendors plus a bagpiper and plenty of small canons to scare the tykes. Many were hoping for re-enactments of the most brutal pirate characteristics but besides a bar brawl or two, there weren't much. Truthfully, I'm not aware of any brawls but there should have been. I can only envision arguments over which Pirate's wench showed more boob or who had more inappropriate tattoos. The 'Dead Enc Canal Yacht Club' members stayed out of the way on Saturday afternoon while Pirate ships arr...

The first Sunday of the month is 'Education Sunday' and every senior member of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' is in the rotation for teaching. Last Sunday was my turn. I wanted to teach about Ethics in Business but the Education Committee thought that was way beyond our little groups ability to absorb since most were retired scoundrels. I was slightly disappointed because I was hoping to use as an example a local business' firing of a long time employee because she got breast Cancer and her Chemo treatment was interfering with her job. Oh well, I picked another topic. One that would guarantee it would be a short session, Sailing. Of the 20 something eager faces looking up at me from the folding seats, I expected that no more than 5 would remain after my opening statement and slide. The sound of wooden chairs being slammed together for storage was thunderous and I'm sure the departing members were thankful for an early out so they could watch NFL footbal...

A group of friends of friends of friends from Ohio came to town and borrowed my Biddison 22 for a week of fishing. They had impeccable credentials including Coast Guard Auxiliary certification. The only requirement I imposed was that my boat had to be back at my dock two hours after sunset every day. Take a wild guess at how many days it made the dock? If you said one you'd be one over. It didn't bother me that much but the wife was pissed. I knew where the boat was and twice I swung by to see it was at my neighbors dock. I ran into them at Dock Fords and they were sufficiently contrite. They promised to have it ship shape and home the night before they left. They must have docked it in the middle of the night because it was magically there in the morning. In the boat there were s few beer cans but no dings or dents. The 22 Biddison has more storage than any other boat ever built. I started to clean the boat but was called away, wink, wink! When I got home my wife...

"Boy the water in the canal is high," said Erie Earl's nephew, "must be all the rain." Jeff the Nephew lives in Iowa and is contemplating moving to Fort Myers/Fort Myers Beach because he went through a messy divorce that included accusations of infidelity and child abuse but more on that later. "No, Jeff, not necessarily just the rain," said Chicago Chuck. "It's the tide, mostly. It will take you a while to learn about tides." "We studied them in college and my family experienced them when we vacationed on the ocean but...," he teared up and left. "It's been tough on him," said Earl. "He should grow a pair, kick them to the curb and get on with his life," said Run-aground Ralph. "Spoken like a true Coast Guard desk jockey," I spouted but then I remembered to suffer fools more gladly. The last time I spoke up, I was ejected from the Big Game Waterfront Restaurant. ...

There has been a shock as powerful as lightning and as loud as thunder that went through Fort Myers Beach last week. The cheap draft beer has gone from $1 to $1.50 and more. "Oh my God how could they have jacked up it up $.50 that fast," cried on former patron who loved the buck beer.

" I can't believe someone would fire a woman while she's battling breast cancer," said 'Run-aground' Ralph. We fellow "Dead End Canal Yacht Club' members were deeply moved by Ralph's incredulity . Ralph's many careers included owning a non-union foundry outside of Chicago and he bragged how ruthlessly he treated his employees. “Even I wouldn't have stooped so low!” “ I t's all over the beach,” said Boston Bob, “even heard it from a couple of early snowbirds I brought to the beach the other day.” Yes, he's back driving 'airport transportation. NOT TAXI! We're even debating changing his nickname to 'not a taxi driver Bob'! “ I hear there will be a boycott and it might have already started,” said Erie Earl, “it was me and Cleveland Jack and the young bar maid the other happy hour.” “ I thought people were staying away because of the banishment of a favorite 'DECYC' member but I can see how mo...

NEWS From BoatUS Boat Owners Association of The United States 880 S. Pickett St., Alexandria, VA  22304 BoatUS Press Room at http://www.BoatUS.com/pressroom FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Press Contact:  D. Scott Croft, 703-461-2864, SCroft@BoatUS.com Photo Available at: http://www.BoatUS.com/pressroom/previewImg/hiRes/1038.jpg Photo Caption: Reports say 13-year-old Sarah Grace Tellifero sadly lost her life as a result of a malfunctioning electric boat lift while swimming near a boathouse. (photo: courtesy photo). 13-Year Old Dies at Boathouse: What Can You Do to Prevent Electrocution and ESD? TENSAS PARISH, La., September 4, 2014 -- It was a Sunday afternoon just over a week ago when 13-year-old Sarah Grace Tellifero was enjoying the last days of summer with three friends, swimming near a boathouse on a local lake. Sadly, when Sarah went to grab a boarding ladder on a pontoon boat to climb out of the water, she was electrocuted. A 17-year old was also shock...