Fort Myers Beach Rain, rain go away!

"Boy the water in the canal is high," said Erie Earl's nephew, "must be all the rain." Jeff the Nephew lives in Iowa and is contemplating moving to Fort Myers/Fort Myers Beach because he went through a messy divorce that included accusations of infidelity and child abuse but more on that later.

"No, Jeff, not necessarily just the rain," said Chicago Chuck. "It's the tide, mostly. It will take you a while to learn about tides."

"We studied them in college and my family experienced them when we vacationed on the ocean but...," he teared up and left.

"It's been tough on him," said Earl.

"He should grow a pair, kick them to the curb and get on with his life," said Run-aground Ralph.

"Spoken like a true Coast Guard desk jockey," I spouted but then I remembered to suffer fools more gladly. The last time I spoke up, I was ejected from the Big Game Waterfront Restaurant.

"She must have had a good lawyer to let her accuse him of all that stuff," said Cleveland Jack.

"You don't need to prove anything. Just saying it in open court is enough to taint the legal system against you," said Lawyer John. "You go from innocent until proven guilty to guilty until...."

"Hard to prove a negative," said Chicago Chuck. "I made my wife stop playing seniors volleyball because she kept coming home with black eyes and everyone at church started accusing ME!"

"That elevator video changed everything," said Hard Luck Hanna. "It will decimate the NFL because those princess' of pig skins can't control themselves and now every prosecutor will want the video." She's worried about her Cowboys.

"What is Jeff going to do. Maybe he can get into insurance down here," said Jack.

"He's going back to fight for visitation with his children. He's got some money from the family and a local lawyer friend will take his case," said Earl. "His ex wanted to move to Wyoming to be with her new husband but the Iowa courts don't like separation of families unless there is a good cause. That's when she accused him! It's a real mess because the three year old probably isn't even his daughter!"

Ain't life grand!