"I hate Snowbirds"


Cracker Bob is so sensitive about being insensitive. "These bastards think they own the place. Well, just remember that summer is coming!"

"Calm down, Bob. It's Christmas week and most of them will be gone next Thursday," said Texarkana Hannah as we stood outside Marti's Restaurant today.

"Hardly any locals," said Bob dejectedly. "I ain't coming back here until May."

"They need a better waiting area. That's for sure," said Cap'n Crunch as he stood on the sidewalk and pressed his nose against the window.

"Being rude won't make them eat any faster, Crunchie," I admonished him but he doesn't listen to anyone.

"There are single people sitting at 4 top tables. I hate Snowbirds," said Crunchie.

Just then a really old woman being held up by two pretty old people came out the door.

Behind them were two waitress' shouting the man's name carrying items. They were regulars but the commotion blurred Crunchie's comprehension and when the really old woman's leg gave out, she nearly fell into us. The man held fast so she didn't.

"Shouldn't let her out of the nursing home," whispered Crunchie. But whispering for Crunchie John is almost normal conversational volume for those of us who aren't audibly impaired.

Everyone else was very polite and gave the threesome plenty of room. 

When the really old woman was loaded into their car, the pretty old man came around and confronted us, "I don't know which one of you made that remark because I had my back to you but I know it was one of you. I wish you'd Identify yourself so I could punch you in the fuckin' mouth."

I started to laugh but the look on the angry senior citizen stopped me. "You're right, it was one of us but punching him in the mouth won't teach him anymore of a lesson than you already have."

Crunchie was beet red and I'm sure the man knew it was him but this wasn't the playground yard of our youth, so he took the high road and left.

"I hate Snowbirds," Crunchie said again.

"And they hate you but that wasn't a Snowbird. They were locals. Maybe he'll figure it out by next Summer and then someone will get punched," I said.

Crunchie left for Perkins because they have a better witing room.


Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com.... Former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up on the "Boating Show" 1995 to 2000. 

Producer/Director/Editor of "Dining out SWFL" and "Boater's Treasures TV." TWEET me @boatguyed and a corresponding web site is http://www.boatingbyboatguyed.com/ ........ NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep sending those great questions and comments to boatguiEd@aol.com.















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The End of a Fort Myers Beach Circus Connection!

Image
         When 91 year old Kel Egony passed away recently in Lee Memorial Hospital not many of his fellow Danes would ever have guessed that would be the place he would draw his final breathe. In his youth in Denmark, 14 year old Kel wanted to be an airplane mechanic but when the Germans invaded, his family insisted he change apprenticeships to became a mason.           Kel Jorgensen was too young to be conscripted by the Nazi's but old enough to work for the underground. Their jobs were especially difficult since the occupying German soldiers spoke fluent Danish after growing up in Denmark because of food shortages in Germany after the first World War. Still, his unit smuggled 3,000 Jews to neutral Sweden through enemy held territory before the war ended.            After the war, Kel and his brother Jorgen Jorgensen started a death defying circus act involving spinning around 75 feet in th...
Read more

Boating; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee!

Image
  In response to a recent blog/column, I received a picture of the new 'Corazon Frisbee', the one year old queen of Cap'n Manny Lee's Marshall sloop sailboat named after her ; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee are living large in the Florida Keys @ Bone Island Bob's private marina in Islamorada, Florida, mile marker 74.5. Private Charters aboard his boat from one to five passengers. Throwing the Frisbee for 'Sweetie Corazon' is no charge but remember she never quits just like her predecessor. For her birthday she received a new coconut (husk and all) along with a few other treats. The coconut husk is great dental floss. On your way through the Keys stop and say hello to Manny and Corazon. http://www.mannylee.com/index.html CAPTAIN McCLUSKY SAILING CHARTERS | 74540 Overseas Highway, Islamorada, FL 33036 | 281-508-7174
Read more

Remembering The Split Rail Restaurant?

Image
Does Anyone Else Remember The Split Rail Restaurant? It was once a favorite place for beach ppl for breakfast and lunch. Us younger members of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” could pull our small boats up to the rickety dock and have a beer and a few chicken wings in the late afternoon. I'm sure you've guessed that I write of a long ago era before happy hours became the rage. Circa 1990! My wife, Marion and I lived at the Boardwalk Caper which was a boater's paradise but not on the DEC. We ate breakfast often at the Split Rail and I attribute much of my heart problems to those delicious heart cloggers. Me, myself and I ate there three mornings a week for a solid 15 years because my office was on the beach. I'm not sure how many Greek immigrants began washing dishes so they could learn to bus tables then run the fryer and fry the eggs before becoming the owner but I remember a half dozen. It used to be a great way to chain migrate to America but all good...
Read more