Boating Fort Myers Beach Wage Theft?

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When we arrived at the Pukin' Pelican Waterfront Bar and Eatery it was Happy Hour so it was packed with Snowbirds trying to get their fill of cheap drinks. Some draft Beer is $1.75. Bottles are $2.50 and well drinks and wines are $2.75 for a limited time. There is always a frozen drink in a tall glass with a garnish of fruit on top on special.

We waited for another boat to move away from the finger pier before docking which delayed us considerably. Upon entering, Cleveland Jack shouted that he had saved us a table for the eight of us but some West Virginia gray hairs had sat down with the promise to move when we arrived. Not all of them did. There was two women who were claiming possession despite their husband's pleas. So we squeezed into the table around them.
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Pensacola Slim got them to move with one question, “Do you buy your pancake make up by the pound or bucket?” There was a bit of a scene but they were gone. But the WVA crowd bumped into some Cannucks coming in who then bumped into waitress 'Alexa with the Big Bosoms' carrying a overloaded tray of 5 Rum 'Smelly Crotches' complete with umbrellas and Pineapple slices...

Surprisingly, none of them tried to sip up the liquor off the floor. Probably because of all the broken glass mixed in but we did see a women brushing off a couple of pineapple slices. After the applause subsided (why do Snowbirds clap at someone's misfortune?) we realized that 'Alexa with the Big Bosoms' must be hurt because she was crying. Run-aground Ralph and Cap'n Crunch hurried to her side ostensibly to check on her injuries but really to get a closer look at the bosoms.

We tried to invite some other members to take their vacant seats but it didn't work. When they returned they were aglow with erotic memories of Alexa bar-toweling her boobs down. Her claim that she had to pay for the 5 expensive drinks out of her own pocket was nearly as upsetting to all of us. “It's the new Manager's rule! Same with food, if you misplace a food order. Less the 20% employee discount,” said Cap'n Crunch.
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We never heard of a rule like that especially with so narrow a discount. Pensacola Slim thought it was a great idea although he never instituted such a rule in his restaurants. “We had a 'spill log' and whenever a server had to remake the drink it was entered in the log.”

“What did you do with the bad drink,” asked Erie Earl. Jim explained that if the customer had tasted it, into the drain it went but if the customer wanted a Daiquiri instead of a frozen Margarita, he encouraged his bartenders to split it up and offer a taste to whomever they wanted, as good will!

“As fiscally conservative as you are, I can't believe you didn't charge the servers,” argued Cleveland Jack.

“I'll have you know all employees at “Pensacola Slim's Nautical Bar and Grille got 35% off regular food and 10% off specials. Besides, I'm not sure what they're doing here is legal. It could be considered wage theft?”

“I'm sure you fired some employees for appearing too many times on the spill log?” I was trying to head off an argument and it appeared to work. “Some were fired but most were re-trained. It was always the good ones who were in a hurry to please! But we never wanted our customers to know about the food they sent back or the drinks we mismade.”

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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