Boating Penalty Flags and Fines

Penalty Flags!
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The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' meeting last Sunday saw nearly a half dozen penalty flags and nearly $50 in fines levied. The outstanding fines are approaching a cool million so thees new ones will probably not be paid either. $6.50 of the fine total was for swearing and those were paid immediately less the swearer be ejected.

The remaining fines and the penalty flags were all for arguing over Politics or Religion. When we were younger, there were actual fisticuffs in the club house and one long time banned member destroyed my 13” TV while attacking another.

I dare not point fingers at fellow members. But if you've been paying attention to the televised debates, especially the last couple, you'll have an idea the rancor among the politicians. It was inevitable that it would spill over to us less educated viewers. The following is a non-verbatim report of the exchanges that nearly came to blows;

Run-aground Ralph wore his Ted Cruz for President t-shirt to the meeting and Boston Bob threw the symbolic penalty flag. “You can't stifle our freedom of expression,” said Cap'n Crunch in Ralph's defense. “This is first amendment stuff!”

“We agreed; Sgt at Arms, read the Flag Restrictions against Political Activity,” Pensacola Slim said weakly. Slim is a powerful politico but also a strict bylaw believer who was one of the architects of the ban.

“I did not Politicize nothing,” said Ralph forcefully. “Nobody says nothing to Boston Bob when he wears his Boston Red Sox Commie shirt!”

“How stupid can you get? Red Sox isn't commie, it's a sports team that beats the Yankees so they are real Americans,” said Erie Earl.

New Jersey Nick went to his car and returned wearing a “Make America Great” hat. Alaska John could not contain himself any longer. “There,” he said pointing to the hat. ”There is the one and only symbol of idiocy that has divided our party and our nation.”

I went outside and unraveled my garden hose. What the heck, I thought, a few wet boxes of Christmas decorations would be worth it. The arguments were in full bloom when I rounded my garage door but the club members decided to adjourn the meeting upon seeing the dripping nozzle.

Upon reflection, the Democrats were sitting silent with stupidly happy grins on their faces. They must think Marco Rubio is correct when he says that all this rancor is going to get Hillary elected. Boy oh Boy!

I'm sorry to say that it will be this way until election day so we may have to move the meetings outdoors.

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com

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