Boating Farmers

We watched in amazement as Erie Earl and Erie Barb carried objects out of their house and into their mammoth motor home. It was a casual pace to be sure but steady. 'Minnesota Mike' (not to be confused with Wisconsin Mike or BIG MIKE who tends bar at the Boot Kicken) was first to comment; “Pretty early to start packing, ain't it?”

“I got vines to tend for my wine,” Earl shouted back. Yes Earl is retired Electrician and a working farmer. He works harder on the wine that he ever did on the electricity but he enjoys giving away the wine. “I don't drink the stuff, I'm a wine connoisseur but I prefer Genesee Cream Ale.”

“Farmers? I thought we banned all farmers after we booted 'Cincinnati Dave',” said Cleveland Robinson. Wrong nimrod. We banned 'Cincinnati Dave' and only 'Cincinnati Dave' because he was the worst boat driver we've ever had.

After he ran into each and every one of our boats, he'd just shrug and say, ”This gull-durned thing don't handle like my tractor,” and off 'Cincinnati Dave' would go looking for his next victim. His nickname came about because he claimed he was from the Ohio city at the bottom left of the state but Mrs. Cincinnati Dave blew the whistle and told us he was from Kentucky.

“No more motor home members! No matter where they're from. KY Joey was a great member so it isn't where but what they did for a living. Farmers are farmers no matter which state they plowed the ground. They all drive like their behind the wheel of their John Deere,” said Chicaga (sic) Charlie. He's a big city boy who is plagued by road rage.

“Easter's early, the 27th of March so we'll see an Exodus of Biblical proportion on the last day of this month,” said Boston Bob. “It's nice to have more people around but they have their drawbacks.”

“I'll take the spring breakers. They're fun to be around and they remind us of our younger ways. I'm sure glad Dick only replaced his pool fence with chain link,” said Dirty Grandpa Ralph. “His grandson has a dozen or so co-eds there every day swimming and some are after that all over tan.”

“So that is why you're hanging off your second floor balcony,” said Texarkana Tammy.

Just then the Reverend came down the canal driving his Tri-Toon loaded with college aged young people. “He's off to save another batch of breakers,” said Charlie. So we all went back to grousing about Farmers and waiting for the Exodus to begin.
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The End of a Fort Myers Beach Circus Connection!

Image
         When 91 year old Kel Egony passed away recently in Lee Memorial Hospital not many of his fellow Danes would ever have guessed that would be the place he would draw his final breathe. In his youth in Denmark, 14 year old Kel wanted to be an airplane mechanic but when the Germans invaded, his family insisted he change apprenticeships to became a mason.           Kel Jorgensen was too young to be conscripted by the Nazi's but old enough to work for the underground. Their jobs were especially difficult since the occupying German soldiers spoke fluent Danish after growing up in Denmark because of food shortages in Germany after the first World War. Still, his unit smuggled 3,000 Jews to neutral Sweden through enemy held territory before the war ended.            After the war, Kel and his brother Jorgen Jorgensen started a death defying circus act involving spinning around 75 feet in th...
Read more

Boating; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee!

Image
  In response to a recent blog/column, I received a picture of the new 'Corazon Frisbee', the one year old queen of Cap'n Manny Lee's Marshall sloop sailboat named after her ; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee are living large in the Florida Keys @ Bone Island Bob's private marina in Islamorada, Florida, mile marker 74.5. Private Charters aboard his boat from one to five passengers. Throwing the Frisbee for 'Sweetie Corazon' is no charge but remember she never quits just like her predecessor. For her birthday she received a new coconut (husk and all) along with a few other treats. The coconut husk is great dental floss. On your way through the Keys stop and say hello to Manny and Corazon. http://www.mannylee.com/index.html CAPTAIN McCLUSKY SAILING CHARTERS | 74540 Overseas Highway, Islamorada, FL 33036 | 281-508-7174
Read more

Remembering The Split Rail Restaurant?

Image
Does Anyone Else Remember The Split Rail Restaurant? It was once a favorite place for beach ppl for breakfast and lunch. Us younger members of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” could pull our small boats up to the rickety dock and have a beer and a few chicken wings in the late afternoon. I'm sure you've guessed that I write of a long ago era before happy hours became the rage. Circa 1990! My wife, Marion and I lived at the Boardwalk Caper which was a boater's paradise but not on the DEC. We ate breakfast often at the Split Rail and I attribute much of my heart problems to those delicious heart cloggers. Me, myself and I ate there three mornings a week for a solid 15 years because my office was on the beach. I'm not sure how many Greek immigrants began washing dishes so they could learn to bus tables then run the fryer and fry the eggs before becoming the owner but I remember a half dozen. It used to be a great way to chain migrate to America but all good...
Read more