Real Shrimp at the FMB Shrimp Fest
Boating;
“It's
like Christmas and News Year Eve for us,” said Erie Earl as he
gleefully rubbed his hands together and smiled like a Cheshire Cat.
“We never had Lake Erie Shrimp!”
The
58th Annual Fort Myers Beach Shrimp Festival runs March 12
and 13, 2016 on, where else, Fort Myers Beach.
There
is a parade Saturday morning (remember the sky bridge will close)
with
the beautiful contestants for Shrimp Queen and then two whole days of
shrimp boil with real local Gulf Pink Shrimp. No Vietnamese septic
tank shrimp there.
“That's
the only time I'll eat shrimp. Except from the shrimp dock markets,
that is,” said Salty Sally as she de-bagged hundreds of
multi-flavor suckers that the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' will pass
out off the Reverend's 24 foot Tri-toon along the shore later in the
day.
“Not
just the Mommies,” said Crunchie. “The hotties in front of the
Lani Kai come into knee deep water for a sucker.” “The security
will turn the fire hose on us if we stay too long,” said the
Reverend.
The
Reverend watched our impromptu yacht club meeting with humorous
disdain. He is a retired 'man of God' who has been trying to save our
more sinful members for years. We put up with his occasional
preaching because he's a recovering alcoholic and therefore our
'designated boat driver.' And his boat is like an aircraft carrier.
“Ever
since I married you and your latest 'Hot Tamale' I've been praying
that firecracker would be enough woman to settle you down,” said
the Reverend to RR.
Ralph
jumped up and did a little dance, “You saved me a lot of money!
That marriage weren't legal because you aren't ordained or something
in Florida!”
“She
was a real hot firecracker. Too much woman for him,” said Put'n Bay
Jack. “She got to be a wet blanket,” retorted Ralph. “Always
killing the fun!”
“I'm
not sure I can take a week with this much fun,” said Boston Bob
with pure sarcasm. “Shrimp Fest the weekend before St. Patrick's
Day! What a great time to live on the beach!”
“All
this fun and we don't have to go to church,” said Cracker Bill.
Which didn't set right with the Reverend. “If you're riding with me
you'll be going to the Blessing of the Fleet! I only ask two things
on this great weekend, one is a small box of chocolate cupcakes from
Janie's Sweet Things on Estero boulevard and having my boat blessed
by the Episcopalian Bishop!”
“Being
out there with all those shrimp boats kind of scared us last year,”
said Punxsutawney Dolores, “It was very intimidating.”
“I'll
find a wide open spot,” said the Rev. “And don't worry if you
guys forget the cupcakes, which I know you will, Janie's right in front
of the Cottage!”
“You
could bless your own boat but it might not be legal in Florida,”
said Boston Bob.
I
figured it was time to enter the fray, “Lay of the Reverend! He
wore a rug out for me when I had all my health problems. If you don't
appreciate his ride, then park at mid-island and walk to the parade.
He's our ace in the hole, our secret weapon and our designated boat
driver!”
So
we settled down to finishing our planning. Everyone brings a life
jacket, check, because the Coast Guard or Sheriff's Department would
surely challenge any 24 foot pontoon boat with upwards of 15
passengers on board.
Bring your own drinks and coolers! Don't be late
for the 7am rendezvous at the Rev's dock because if you snooze you
lose.
We'll
double or triple anchor in shallow water just off the beach so we can
watch the Parade. We have to draw straws who stays aboard as anchor
watch. “Everyone will be plenty excited but try to get some needed
rest!”
See
Ya'll There! Send questions or comments to this publication. Be sure to say if you want to see more. This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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