Shrimp Fest

Boating; Shrimp?

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Four members of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' drove to 'Bay Pines', Florida to the VA hospital the other day to visit one of our oldest members. 'Cracker Jim' is a native of Florida who got his Purple Heart fighting those 'Commie Bastard' China-men who supported those 'Commie Bastard' North Koreans.

“This will be the first Shrimp Fest I've missed since 19 and 54,” he said from his hospital bed. “I can't hardly believe it!”
Cracker Jim shrimped during the 1960s thru the 1990s and parked his shrimp boat on the Dead End Canal. In fact it was his sunken shrimp boat that blocked the canal and gave it that name during his last days of his career. It wasn't his fault, though. Cracker Jim was serving his last year in the Federal Prison at Elgin Air force base. (A little misunderstanding over imports from Columbia)

“I think it would have been my last chance to have some real Shrimp. I only ate Shrimp at the Fest 'cause I knew it wasn't that Asian crap. They even try to serve it here in Mac and Cheese with tiny shrimp, yuk!” Cracker Jim was getting a little loud so a nurse popped in with a questioning look.

“Oh, it's the shrimp again,” she said. “See the yellow stain on the wall, that's what he did with the last plate!”

“Ninety percent of the shrimp eaten by IGNORANT Americans are raised in sewers in Vietnam. Why do you think it's so cheap? Those Commie Bastards sent our boys home in body bags and now they're selling us polluted Shrimp,” he said and then his heart monitor went off.

Cracker Bob said, “Jesus, were killing him. Lets get out of here!” He's a grand nephew of the old soldier. We hung around until they assured us he was going to be alright then we headed back to Fort Myers Beach.

Half way there, 'Run aground Ralph' demanded we stop in Venice so we could visit the 'Crow's Nest Bar' on the ICW. “No way,” we all insisted. It was too far from home and although we all could have used a bracer we passed up the opportunity.

Toledo Tom brought up a report that supported our old friends stance. We listened to it as we drove down I 75 and if you click on the YOUTUBE link you'll be just as shocked as we were. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDAPi0r4d9s .

We hadn't been to a Shrimp Fest for several years but were going this year. We thought we were getting ripped off but in fact we were getting what we paid for! See you there. This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com



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