Boating Courtesy?


Boating is...by boatguy Ed

While waiting for a 'friendly dock' to open at the Pukin' Pelican last weekend, I and the gang were sitting back while allowing more impatient boaters to go in front of us. It was a whole 10 minutes before an up current dock opened and we slid into the slip and allowed the outgoing tide to carry us over to our spot.

At the bar we were accosted by a skipper we allowed to take one of the 'unfriendly docks'. He was miffed that we'd set him up to bang into the pilings. Point in fact, he was right. We had given up our place in the docking queue because of the way the tide was running.

“Why did you do that to me,” said the skipper wearing the Wisconsin Badger's t-shirt.

The Reverend tried to explain, “I'm sorry you feel that way, Sir, but we were waiting for a larger dock to open up. My Tri-toon is a full 8 foot six inches wide and we wanted all the extra space possible.”


“Bilge water,” said the offended mate who was trying to live up to his nautical look. “You set us up to get pushed around by the wind or water or whatever that was.”

“You'll get used to the tides sooner or later! That's why they put rub-rails on boats,” I said politely.

“You set us up to look bad,” said the skipper's significant other, “we had friends waiting for us and they laughed!”

“I apologize for your inexperience,” said the Reverend, “but you should fly your Wisconsin flag from your bow so the Floridians can gauge your inability. And point in fact, I wasn't driving my boat, he was.” The Rev gleefully pointed me out.

“Let me buy you a drink while I give you the number to the Coast Guard Auxiliary,” I said while digging through my cell phone.

“#*%# You,” said the skipper, “I'm a licensed Captain.”

“Maybe in Wisconsin but in Florida you dock like some boater from Ohio,” said Boston Bob, “go Red Sox!

 Off somewhere someone shouted "O H." Someone else responded with "I O"! Boy, them ppl can spell!

Crazy Alice, the manager, stepped in and distracted the conversation, “I've seen worst landings. Any landing you can walk away from is a good one. Don't worry, I don't charge to reset pilings but stay off the throttle Cap'n!”

And that was that. We moved away and didn't return the nasty looks. Alice hovered around for a few minutes and bought both our groups a pitcher of beer. No hands were shaken but the ugly looks stopped. We certainly didn't want a physical confrontation because the other group was pretty old but didn't look old enough to be on Medicare, yet!

Boat Safe.

 This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguyed@gmail.com

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