Times, they are a-changing!
Over the years there have been
additions to the restrictions but it is still a fairly simple place
to live. The association doesn't nitpick every little flower or color
change on your front door. Some of us go overboard during the
holidays and others do almost nothing.
There are enough Hanukkah
candles in the windows to make us feel good about our diversity and
even a few Happy Kwanzaa wishes.
Now we have our first family from a
Muslim nation but no one knows anything about them so wild rumors
abound and base fears are rampant. We went through this when Doctor
Lump bought next door to Run-aground Ralph. He was a General Surgeon
from Annapolis who was married to the most gentile and refined white
women. A real southern lady who was hated instantly by some members
of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club!
His 'strike three' was, drum roll
please, he was a 'blow boater.' The Power boaters of our club and
even outsiders snorted deliriously at our acceptance of another 'Rag
Boater' within our mist. They preferred the rumble of twin 454 turbo
charged engines to the silence of a sailboat moving within 'their'
canal. Doc Lump did a smart thing when he bought a 27' Boston Whaler
to placate the stink potters. He didn't stay long, he gave up retired
life when he took a job for the Obama White House as a Under
Secretary for Health and Human Services.
All Cap'n Crunch said was, “We ran
his ass out of here!” He nearly lies as much as our President.
The Government bought his house 4 years
ago but never got around to selling it until now. Fred the Cop missed
the sale of the house to the Arabs because of their new Americanized
last name. Run-aground Ralph couldn't miss their appearance. “I got
rag heads moving in where the rag boater moved out! This can't be
legal,” he shouted at the top of his lungs across the canal.
We gathered in Erie Earl's garage to
watch the movers carry furniture from the America Van Lines truck
into the house. Several suspicious young men directed traffic and
eyed us suspiciously. “They have a lot of nice stuff,” said
Texarkana Hanna.
“They look like Pakistanis,” said
Cap'n Crunch. “Probably terrorists! I'm getting my MAGA sign out of
storage and put the Trump stickers back on my car.”
“There are a lot of them. Don't we
have an occupancy restriction? No I guess we don't have none of
that,” said Hanna. “We trade Arabs for...” She stopped before
her Southerness escaped her lips. She's a good woman but old habits
die hard in old women.
A few days later Erie Earls old car was
keyed on the front fender and the rumors exploded. Was it the
Terrorists or the bad kids from the next street? Those of us who want
a Home Owners Association were sure it was the Arabs but the majority
voted against the formation of a restrictive group of Condo
Commandos.
“One thing is for sure,” Cap'n
Crunch declared, “my new security system will be lethal!”
“...and they'll never get in the
Yacht Club,” said Hanna! Thank goodness it will be summer soon!
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