Not a Farewell Party

As we nine members of the Dead End Canal Yacht Club sat down at two picnic tables on the deck of the Pukin' Pelican, a woman noticed Cleveland Jack's Cleveland Indian's hat. “O H,” she said and Jack blurted out the other half of the state name, “I O!”

“Are you having a farewell party too,” asked the white haired snowbird woman from Ohio asked. boatguyed@gmail.com

Jack shook his head and asked what part of O H I O she was from. “Columbus, huh,” said Jack. “Go Buckeyes, beat Michigan!” From the other end of their picnic table a couple booed. “Florida makes strange bedfellows,” Jack said to the Ohio woman. She shrugged.

“I thought they went home,” I said despondently. “I heard that,” the Ohio woman said, “are you one of them that wants our money but that's all?”

“Some of us don't even don't want you money,“ said Boston Bob. “We love to see you come but we'd rather you stop at the top of the Sky Bridge and leave your money on the yellow line before turning around and going home!”   boatguyed@gmail.com

Our whole group broke into loud and overblown laughter. The other table didn't find it anywhere near as funny after the hearing ones explained the remark to the hard of hearing. Of course Bob was kidding but the other table talked so loud they couldn't hear his apology.

“We hope you all starve this summer and maybe we'll go to Sarasota next year and let you think about it!” To Jack she said, ”I can't believe an Ohio native would hang around with these idiots...”
Jack shrugged and waved her off. The tension was released by a loud shudder that came from the Docks. “Did someone hit my boat,” asked our designated driver, the Reverend, who jumped up and spotted Cap'n Crunch's Grandson backing away from the bent piling.

“The Buckeye don't fall far from the tree,” said Boston Bob who knew Crunchie wasn't from Ohio but he was enjoying himself. He quit it when Cleveland Jack gave him the evil eye. The Snowbirds turned their backs on us.  boatguyed@gmail.com

“Any landing you can walk away from is a good one, right Jeff,” said the Rev. Jeff told us of the sticking throttle, bad gear shifter and tight steering wheel. The standard excuses he'd heard his Grandfather has used for 20 years.

“I know know a good dockside mechanic,” said Erie Earl, “but I forgot the Cap'n likes to do his own work. Not that he's cheap or nothing. Sure hope he's paid up on his SeaTow membership.”

“Sit down and have a beer, Jeff,” said Jack. Jeff explained that he was picking up a to go order for the family who were laying around the pool at Grand Dad's house.
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“I'll bet he got the Manager to allow him to carry out the happy hour food deals,”Said Boston Bob.

“Not so much fast talking needed because this place has a 51% to 49% liquor license. They have to have the kitchen open all day and their food sales have to outnumber booze sales, 51/49! That's why they seem to give away food,” I said. I like to appear smart, don't you know!

It was a nice Friday night meeting of the DECYC, boat safe!

 This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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