Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

I am going to be so happy when the Ghouls night is over this year. It all seems so phony when you've experienced the real thing. When I was a teenager we had real ghosts and goblins. There weren't tourist maps but there were local legends galore. Along Pa. Route 351 between Elwood City and New Galilee a disfigured figure would walk nightly. Near a popular reservoir there were many roads that were disrupted by the body of water so the dead ended or were diverted. The rolling country gave the roads a coaster feel. Legend had it that a hunter many years before mistook a small girl for some type of game and shot her. She died many days later and haunted the lonely country road. I shook hands with both of those legends so I don't fear Hollywood's phony boooo! stories. Dracula, suck on this! Wolf-man, go chase a truck! But I am a little Leary of Frankenstein's Monster just because he's not a ghost but is somewhat viable with the advancement of modern science....

We members of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' landed at the Pukin' Pelican dock at 4 pm. Our designated driver, the Reverend had an appointment with a roofer at 6 pm and he was adamant we go out earlier. So, we figured an hour of sipping on brew at the Pelican and then a 15 minute run up the back bay to our new favorite, the Nauti Parrot Dock Bar. The 'Super Happy Hour' starts at 5 pm and it is as good a deal as you'll find everywhere. Regular Happy Hour starts shortly after noon when draft beers are $3 from 5 to 7 pm they drop to $2. “I'm telling you,” the Reverend said forcefully, “you'd better get an UBER account before Daylight Savings time ends on November 5 th . My eyes don't work so good after sundown!” “None of our eyes do,” said Jersey Jake. I spoke up and told them all how well my eyes work now that I got new Cadillax or Cataracts or eye lens. Whatever they are, they are a miracle, I swear. 'Crazy Alice' t...

Times, they are a-changing'! They surely are. Why just yesterday I watched a fellow in a Green Bay jersey splitting a seafood Pizza with a fellow wearing a Minnesota Viking jersey while watchin' them play each other at the Nauti Parrot Dock Bar. They got along good, not great but there was nary a punch thrown but plenty of good natured kidding. I discovered that they were next door neighbors and displayed their favorite teams pennant right up to the 55plus Condo Commando's by law rules. They may have been rebels in their youths but they were law-abiding senior citizens now. My wife, Masochistic Marion, was parked right in front of a big screen television so she couldn't miss one teeny, weeny bit of pain and disappointment of the Cleveland Bums! I was there to enjoy her enthusiasm or despair. As my friends and family can attest she is a better show than the game. But yesterday, Sunday October 15, 2017, she didn't put on much of a show!   No holleri...

Dateline; October 2017 “I'm a little tired of 2017 if you ask me,”said Texarkana Hanna as she sipped a fresh mug of coffee from the club house's new coffee maker. The old one was run to death during Irma off of my generator. “Now we have another storm brewing and maybe coming our way. My niece's husband is still in the hospital in Las Wages, Nevada and my gardener's grandson was hit in the eye by a package of flying paper towels in Puerto Rico.” “Things are tough all over,” said Cap'n Crunch, “but we have to buck up and out ride the evil doers!” “So, you blame just the shooter in Vegas? Not the gun manufacturers nor the Congressmen who won't change the law,” asked Boston Bob. “There you Liberals go again, trying to take our rights away from us,” said Run-aground Ralph. “The second Amendment guarantees us the right to bear arms. We have States rights on our side, too!” “Nobody got hit in the eye by a package of paper towels,” said Indy C...