Remembering the ancient 4th of July

July 3rd, 2017

Back in the log cabin days, I remember the 4^th of July fondly. My

spinning a sparkler around, and round until it went out and then my Dad would light another until the package was empty and we were done. The folks let some of us stay up until almost midnight on the front porch. One year we even dragged pillows and blankets onto the swing or floor just in case there were more BOOM!

Some how we awoke in our beds. Maybe I dreamed it or maybe the Fireworks Ferry carried us up to bed. The 5^th of July was spent searching for remnants of the explosives that we had watched. A fragment of paper or string was a prize worth a lot of marbles in any trade.

We never heard an Ambulance that I can recall. We heard all the gory stories around the baseball fields but never saw anyone missing fingers or eyes. There was one man with Angela Jolie lips on our paper route who had put a dud firecracker in his mouth as a young boy while he struggled to light another match. Boom.

I remember him not for his lips but his young wife who liked to work on her tan in the afternoon on their front yard. She'd nearly stop the heart of a 13 year old paperboy just by modestly catching some rays while the kiddies slept in the shade on the stoop. We never threw her paper but handed it over.

As years passed and we grew older. There were drive-ins and firework displays over several near-by lakes. That was when I discovered that teenage girls had similar desires as boys but a lot more discipline. Well most of them, anyway.

After my distinguished military career and too many years of

drinking railroad paychecks, I settled down with a wife. For some reason (shrinks will have a field day with this one) I became fascinated with fireworks that shot high in the air and exploded. I blew a lot of money blowing things up and up! Only on the 4^th.

My wife liked to entertain family at our new home so we combined fireworks with picnics. She always admonished, “Not to close to the house!” But I crept closer to give our families a better look. I set off the rockets from a railroad ties that lined the driveway and the level platform only failed me once.

The errant rocket was perfectly shaped as it stood on its guide fins. My match hand was steady and resolute. Just light the fuse and step back like I'd done a dozen times that day. The rocket rose nearly 6 feet before it took a bee line for our open Master Bedroom window. It penetrated the screen like a hot knife through butter and then exploded.

I remember hearing a scream but didn't realize it was me screaming until I saw my wife at a dead run towards me. I've been in plenty of bar fights with guys as big or bigger but I realized that I couldn't win this one. I turned and ran into the house just ahead of her and made it to the bedroom with her hot on my heels.

I was trying to remember where the fire extinguishers were when I entered. To my surprise there was no fire, very little smoke and hardly any signs of the doom I imagined. The sound of the twin window fan on high speed exhaust banging one blade against the damage wire guard nearly made me cry for joy. We had no A.C. So we used those fans to keep our upstairs cool on warm days.

I didn't have to use any of my pugilistic skills but I did buy a new bed spread, a new window screen and despite my most heroic efforts at straightening the fan, I bought a new $20 (1980 price) window fan. I upgraded to four speed just 'cause I was so happy! I also swore off fireworks!

HAPPY FOURTH!

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