Cruising Calendar

“I'm an American,” said the bag boater member as he poured another beer from my kegerator. He was answering an illegal question from Stink-pot Dino. Illegal because the discussion of politics has been outlawed by by-law in the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' clubhouse (my garage).

“I knew it, another Loon Dimocrat,” said Dino to his 'R' side of the garage, “but what would you expect from a blow boater, college professor.”

“We had to recruit some intelligentsia because you and yours were dragging down the club's IQ average. The yachting counsel demands a minimum of 50 or they'd pull our charter,” I said.

“Intelligence...he's drinking that cool-aide you serve! Pabst Blue Ribbon should be banned along with fake Dimocrat News. Leave it to a cheap bag boater,” Dino shouted.

The weighted yellow penalty flag flew past Dino's nose so close that he had to jump back and shout 'watch that shit'! “You're penalized 15 yards for illegal use of politics,” Hanna said to Dino. He tossed his half full Miller Genuine Draft bottle into the recycle barrel and stormed out.

“He's on his way to friendlier places,” said Erie Earl. “Someplace where his hero's poster graces the walls and the dart board has Obama's picture. The Fox News Channel is always on TV and Rush Limpbow is on the radio.”

“Let's get to setting some cruising dates,” said Cleveland Jack. “I'm all for the Keys or Bahamas in the spring. If we set the Key West trip early we can get decent room rates and more members will come down on the vomit comet.”

“I'm up for a middle Keys trip,” said Pittsboig Mike, “I'd like a three or four day at Marathon.”

The destinations came fast and furious. Clearwater, St. Pete, Tampa Bay, Flamingo, Port St. Lucie were all within the range of our smaller boats. We old timers stayed out of the mix because we'd all been wherever they named and we knew the good and bad points of each destination.

The May trip to the Dry Tortugas/Key West was quickly penciled in, even though last years participation was less than enthusiastic. The big boats were far and fewer as the old members downsized or got out of boating.

The most popular boat now is the aluminum Tri-toon pontoon boat but it has limited cabin space beyond tent like covers that are somewhat private and comfortable for a couple or a liberally minded foursome. A covered head is it's best selling point and with an over sized outboard it is pretty fast. But not suitable for extended cruising.


The most enthusiastic members are always the newest members. Every adventure is new with new people and undiscovered destinations guided by experienced leaders. I will publish the calendar as soon as we get it all set. Everyone can join in. One thing will be the same, no religious or political discussions will be tolerated so the usual suspects will be hanging around the Pukin' Pelican dock at the picnic tables raising their voices!
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com 

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