The Trouble with Tribles

The Trouble with Tribles

An episode of the television show 'Star Trek' warned us, humanity, to be wary of things that seem to be innocuous. In this episode, the Enterprise is ferrying an immensely valuable load of grain to a starving Galaxy, so the people could replant these crops and survive. Really? Sending a Star Cruiser, the most powerful ship in the known Universe to deliver grain?

I think I remember this plot in the Greek Tragedies. Probably written by Homer or Aristotle or them kinda guys. But in the fashion of watching Television is Time Immemorial I will sit down and suspend all logical thinking. Anyway, maybe the Warp drives were broken but the trip was taking so long that they needed R&R on a space station/way-point.

A pain-in-the-ass official of the Federation High Counsel was aboard to make sure they didn't screw up the job and to be a nemesis for Kirk. Klingons lurked around every corner and an unscrupulous trader had smuggled aboard the neutral space station, Tribles, a cute as a button, furry, re-productively over achiever, nerve soothing, space creatures.

Now to the segue; just before the New Year began an old friend called with the news of another old friend's demise. “He was 71 (we don't have to say '71 what' because our ages are the highest number in the conversation), how old are you now,” he asked. I proudly claimed my youthful 70 and he asked, “Are you a 'shrivel' yet?”

We both broke into hysterical laughter as we remembered 'shrivel' as being the term we used for old people when we were young people. After blowing my nose and clearing the phlegm from my chortled throat, I replied, “No, I'm too fat to have achieved shrivel-dom!”

We had never agreed on the definition but we'd always used it as a
derogatory term for an old person who was pissing us off. “Look at this shrivel driving slow in the fast lane or... the Pukin' Pelican is loaded with shrivels for the early bird, happy hour, or the 'buy one get one free', half priced chicken wing promotion.”

We always assumed, that we'd never be shrivels but we have. The skin crepes and the lips thin and the skin bruises more easily. Just like over ripened fruit. It is inevitable but some women and a few men think shriveling is attractive everywhere except the face. The bleached blond Trophy Wife is suddenly a 50 year old shrivel rushing to the Plastic Surgeon for a stretch but sun damaged skin doesn't have much stretch. Plastic!

We sure do enjoy the view from across the canal during spring break when the plumped skinned College girls bake in the Florida Sun but deep down we cringe, too! Going to school in Wisconsin means that a well tanned co-ed needs a tanning salon or go Au-natural white. They quickly catch up on sun damage while in Florida.


Future Shrivels everyone!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The End of a Fort Myers Beach Circus Connection!

Image
         When 91 year old Kel Egony passed away recently in Lee Memorial Hospital not many of his fellow Danes would ever have guessed that would be the place he would draw his final breathe. In his youth in Denmark, 14 year old Kel wanted to be an airplane mechanic but when the Germans invaded, his family insisted he change apprenticeships to became a mason.           Kel Jorgensen was too young to be conscripted by the Nazi's but old enough to work for the underground. Their jobs were especially difficult since the occupying German soldiers spoke fluent Danish after growing up in Denmark because of food shortages in Germany after the first World War. Still, his unit smuggled 3,000 Jews to neutral Sweden through enemy held territory before the war ended.            After the war, Kel and his brother Jorgen Jorgensen started a death defying circus act involving spinning around 75 feet in th...
Read more

Boating; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee!

Image
  In response to a recent blog/column, I received a picture of the new 'Corazon Frisbee', the one year old queen of Cap'n Manny Lee's Marshall sloop sailboat named after her ; Captain Manny Lee and Corazon Frisbee are living large in the Florida Keys @ Bone Island Bob's private marina in Islamorada, Florida, mile marker 74.5. Private Charters aboard his boat from one to five passengers. Throwing the Frisbee for 'Sweetie Corazon' is no charge but remember she never quits just like her predecessor. For her birthday she received a new coconut (husk and all) along with a few other treats. The coconut husk is great dental floss. On your way through the Keys stop and say hello to Manny and Corazon. http://www.mannylee.com/index.html CAPTAIN McCLUSKY SAILING CHARTERS | 74540 Overseas Highway, Islamorada, FL 33036 | 281-508-7174
Read more

Remembering The Split Rail Restaurant?

Image
Does Anyone Else Remember The Split Rail Restaurant? It was once a favorite place for beach ppl for breakfast and lunch. Us younger members of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” could pull our small boats up to the rickety dock and have a beer and a few chicken wings in the late afternoon. I'm sure you've guessed that I write of a long ago era before happy hours became the rage. Circa 1990! My wife, Marion and I lived at the Boardwalk Caper which was a boater's paradise but not on the DEC. We ate breakfast often at the Split Rail and I attribute much of my heart problems to those delicious heart cloggers. Me, myself and I ate there three mornings a week for a solid 15 years because my office was on the beach. I'm not sure how many Greek immigrants began washing dishes so they could learn to bus tables then run the fryer and fry the eggs before becoming the owner but I remember a half dozen. It used to be a great way to chain migrate to America but all good...
Read more