The Trouble with Tribles

The Trouble with Tribles

An episode of the television show 'Star Trek' warned us, humanity, to be wary of things that seem to be innocuous. In this episode, the Enterprise is ferrying an immensely valuable load of grain to a starving Galaxy, so the people could replant these crops and survive. Really? Sending a Star Cruiser, the most powerful ship in the known Universe to deliver grain?

I think I remember this plot in the Greek Tragedies. Probably written by Homer or Aristotle or them kinda guys. But in the fashion of watching Television is Time Immemorial I will sit down and suspend all logical thinking. Anyway, maybe the Warp drives were broken but the trip was taking so long that they needed R&R on a space station/way-point.

A pain-in-the-ass official of the Federation High Counsel was aboard to make sure they didn't screw up the job and to be a nemesis for Kirk. Klingons lurked around every corner and an unscrupulous trader had smuggled aboard the neutral space station, Tribles, a cute as a button, furry, re-productively over achiever, nerve soothing, space creatures.

Now to the segue; just before the New Year began an old friend called with the news of another old friend's demise. “He was 71 (we don't have to say '71 what' because our ages are the highest number in the conversation), how old are you now,” he asked. I proudly claimed my youthful 70 and he asked, “Are you a 'shrivel' yet?”

We both broke into hysterical laughter as we remembered 'shrivel' as being the term we used for old people when we were young people. After blowing my nose and clearing the phlegm from my chortled throat, I replied, “No, I'm too fat to have achieved shrivel-dom!”

We had never agreed on the definition but we'd always used it as a

derogatory term for an old person who was pissing us off. “Look at this shrivel driving slow in the fast lane or... the Pukin' Pelican is loaded with shrivels for the early bird, happy hour, or the 'buy one get one free', half priced chicken wing promotion.”

We always assumed, that we'd never be shrivels but we have. The skin crepes and the lips thin and the skin bruises more easily. Just like over ripened fruit. It is inevitable but some women and a few men think shriveling is attractive everywhere except the face. The bleached blond Trophy Wife is suddenly a 50 year old shrivel rushing to the Plastic Surgeon for a stretch but sun damaged skin doesn't have much stretch. Plastic!

We sure do enjoy the view from across the canal during spring break when the plumped skinned College girls bake in the Florida Sun but deep down we cringe, too! Going to school in Wisconsin means that a well tanned co-ed needs a tanning salon or go Au-natural white. They quickly catch up on sun damage while in Florida.

Future Shrivels everyone!

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