The “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” New Year

The “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” hasn't celebrated New Years Eve as a club in several years. Still the Board of Commodores met to discuss the possibility of reviving the tradition.
This year is especially difficult because of the College Football Playoffs but we tried.

We, the Board of Commodores met at the Pukin' Pelican on Thursday during Happy Hour and occupied an outside picnic table. A cool front was moving down and the wind blew our Hors d’Oeuvres around and the pitchers of beer went flat quickly because of the falling Barometer. I wasn't concerned because I was drinking 16 oz Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boys.

We sat quietly through 3 impassioned pleas, one by Texarkana Hanna, another by Cap'n Crunch and the last from Pensacola Slim. Hanna wanted to do dinner and drinks and dancing at some fancy spot. Cap'n Crunch just wanted to get out of his house and tie one on, anywhere! Pensacola Slim was duty bound by the Woman's Auxiliary to speak on behalf of a dinner/street dance.

And so the vote about New Years Eve group celebration ended up being 5 Nay and 3 Ayes for any or all of their proposals. We were on our own to watch the playoffs anywhere we chose and celebrate however we wished. It was doubtful that any of us would hear the midnight celebration because our party would start at 3:10 pm for the first game and continue through 7:10 Pm's game.

We adjourned..... Now for the rest of the story! Luckily, most of the Alabama fanatics went to the Pukin' Pelican for the first game. They closed immediately after because the employees wanted to get drunk and remove their finger tips using fireworks. Ohio State fans went to Bayside to view the Clemson/Ohio State massacre.

We, the smart 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' members came to the clubhouse (my garage) and watched the best teams kill their opponents. Most everyone walked in and out carrying finger foods, pretzels and leftover Christmas candy. During the first game, Alabama was dominating Washington and we were all surprised not to see Trump dancing on the sidelines.

I took a nap as did many of our members. We were expecting a much better game from Ohio State. At game time there were more Buckeye haters than fans and they weren't disappointed. The announcers kept pounding on poor OSU and their coach because of the shut-out. I was hoping the Bayside had a good supply of Nitroglycerin tablets for that rowdy crowd!

Sleep came early. I was supposed to let the dogs in before I retired but some hanger-ons promised to put them in the house when they left. They didn't and when Mrs. Boatguy got up, (she was in bed long before I) they began to bark in unison in the garage with the
overhead door wide open and the Red Solo Cups lying all around. What a mess. HAPPY NEW YEAR!


PS; IT'S HARD TO BE FUNNY WITH A 3 DAY OLD HANGOVER!  
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Where the hell is the Puking Pelican? We need more waterfront places on the beach. Channel Mark closed again. Salty Sam's might as well be closed, yuk! ('Cept lunch at Parrot Key) Not many locals places left! Put a map up!
January 14, 2017 at 8:42 PM
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