Politics will get you banned!
“What is wrong with this country,”
asked Texarkana Hanna, “why can't it be like the old days?”
“Old days like how,” asked Boston
Bob, “not like when you had to keep your mouth closed because you
were a woman?”
“I never kept my mouth shut and I got
the false teeth to prove it,” said Hanna reaching into her mouth to
pull out her choppers. “Been punched hard by many a man!”
Everyone shouted; No, no, no we don't want to see!!!!!
“How often have you been Trump
Groped?”
“I'm seventy one years young and I
got most of my teeth,” said Railroad Tom, “thanks to good Union
contracts I had good dental care and good medical care and life
insurance!”
“What happened to your brain cells?
You drank most of them under the bus, didn't you?” said Cap'n
Crunch.
“We all have our regrets but at least
your family is sorta close. My daughter hasn't spoken to me in over
ten years,” said Texarkana Hanna. “She's been with one Meth head
after another and has even got two of her older kids on that shit!”
“What a fuckin' pity party this has
turned into. If you wanted to be miserable, why didn't y'all stay up
North,” asked Cracker Alice, the manager of the Pukin' Pelican.
Although not a member, we let her sit in on occasion at her bar.
“You think it's any easier for us,”
asked our twenty-something big ear waitress, “I got two kids that I
get to see almost never because I got to work two jobs and I owe a
gazillion dollars to some loan shark company for my rip-off college
loans that I got zilch out of?”
“That is what this election is
about,” said Cap'n Crunch. “We need a new government and new
administrators and better Military and more jobs?”
“Funny how you skipped over the
Congress,” said Boston Bob. “Or is Donny Boy going to do away
with them, too?”
“He's gonna put that bitch in jail,
too! And her Impeached husband and those impostors who are about to
leave the White House,” said Run-aground Ralph.
“Marci, bring the check,” said
Cracker Alice pointing to Boston Bob and RR, “you boys have crossed
the line.” Ralph pull out his red 'Grab them hat' and stormed out
with Crunchie in tow and without contributing to the pot. Bob looked
convincingly contrite as he tossed down his share and went to collect
his bike.
“I'll be so glad when this election
is over,” said Marci. “Alice throws out half of my tables for
talking Politics!” And so it should it be!
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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