Not our kinda mood music!

We (the Dead End Canal Yacht Club's happy hour excursion) slid into the Pukin' Pelican Sports Bar and Grill's dock on the Rev's Tritoon the other day. The Rev put his feet up and his head set on and listened to religious music on his boat's stereo. He doesn't like to impose his taste in music on other people.

We quickly discovered that his courtesy wasn't necessarily shared by everyone. As soon as we finished our drink orders, we became acutely aware of a 'Dewey, Chitum and Howe' advertisement blaring out of the bar's speakers. Those quick sideways glances that usually accompany dissatisfaction were exchanged.

“Did one of you say you got a DUI,” asked Drummer Ed.

“No, that was a radio commercial,” said Outer Banks Oscar as he was tearing up a black bar napkin to stuff small pieces in his ears.

When the country music started we mostly let out a unified groan. It wasn't Dolly or Willie or even Hank. Not classic country for sure but New Country! The adult Tomcat in the out of tune blender, Country that is.

“She cheated on us, the dog and me and our six kids in the back of my pick-up truck while she was drunk with my best friends. Never would have knowd but for the train that done hit 'em. I wish the bitch had died but she's in the intensive care racking up beeeg old bills.”

“If you need legal representation for anything, call Dewey, Chitum and Howe. We can screw every big shot insurance company and get you a beep load of cash....”

“This ain't helping,” said Outer Banks Oscar as he was digging out wads of black cocktail napkins out of his ears, “I hate commercials about bad luck especially in between songs about bad woman. Shouldn't bother me because I'm mostly deaf but it does.”

“It's the commercials! They're always louder and that is why I listen to CD in my car and boat. I took out the radio and put in a good player,” I said.

This is what they need!

Several of us requested our bill and a to-go cup. The bill was brought almost immediately (no surprise because they weren't busy) but the bartender refused the to-go cup. “We don't have a package, carry-out license, sorry!” He was nice but never asked why we were in such a rush. But come to think of it, most of their employees don't inquire. He'd served us before when the music was lower and not that particular station. 

I guess it's time to go all in Country?

“Back already,” the Rev said as we boarded his boat. We told him about our misadventure and he came back with his usual wisdom, “There are about 10 waterfront bar/restaurants within idle speed of our docks and some of you won't go to most of them for one good reason or another. You'll be down to drinking out the clubhouse again.....”

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com