How not to be a good Samaritan?

How not to be a good Samaritan?

I once found a pretty new boat drifting unattended in the back bay behind Fort Myers Beach. An attached bow line was wrapped around a cleat that had pulled loose from a wooden object. There was no mid-line and the boats rear cleat was missing.

I put a tow line on it and called the Coast Guard. I stood by while the rubber Ducky raced towards me. Chalk that up to youthful exuberance. I'm sure the fine would be huge for any civilian boater who ran the idle speed zones that way but they could get away with it because the public safety might be involved. Which it often is from the massive wake that rubber Ducky can throw.

A long time ago, a young woman was climbing out of her Choy Lee sailboat docked at the old Pearl Street Marina when youthful exuberance knocked her off the ladder and onto the cabin sole where she broke her leg and fractured her skull. Whether she was high on a combination of narcotics at the time or subsequent to her injuries, she was forced to climb out of the boat and crawl up the dock to the office.

Even thirty years ago the guys in uniforms could be mighty intimidating, “Put your hands up....I said PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” So I put my hands up. Not to difficult.

“I'm the one who called,” I said to the baby faced Coastie who boarded my boat. He just grunted and continued searching my boat for contraband. In the locker forward of the center console were five empty beer cans, three Miller Lights and two Budweiser.

“I insist you confiscate those cans and take them to your finger print lab. I am sure my prints aren't on them because I only drink Pabst Blue Ribbon. My sneaky friends must have stashed them there, I'm sure!”

“I'm going to have to do a field sobriety test,” said the baby faced Coastie .

“It is 6:10 am in the morning,” I stammered, “I'm out here for bait NOT drinking beer! I don't believe this shit! I find and report a hazard to navigation and all you want to do is bust me for ANYTHING. Hang on young man, we're going to the station!” I drove at idle speed through the anchorage to the Coast Guard Station with my passenger aboard.

I requested the Watch Commander meet us and I'd surrender to him. By the time we hit the Coastie's dock, I'd calmed down. To my surprise I received an apology and a thank you from the not so baby faced Watch Commander. “Would you like to take the empty cans with you?” I declined just for the satisfaction of seeing the baby faced Coastie dispose of them.

“That was a hell of a thunderstorm we had last night. Must have busted loose that boat,” said one of the baby faced Coastie's.

I couldn't resist one parting shot, “Seems like no one knows shit around the beach anymore. Tying a boat only by the cleat, unbelievable?”

P.S. All those Coasties would be retired by now!

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