Boating; Happines and Complaints

It's January in Southwest Florida so the windows are closed, the jackets are donned and us locals don't care to sit outside during happy hour. The prediction of 73 degrees at 3pm is shivering me timbers. Still, as I look across the canal at Cap'n Crunch's house I see small children swimming in his pool. They are visitors from Germany through AirBnB. 

The Cap'n and his wife are living in his 44' motor home on his front lawn. We let him park it on our wide driveway last winter but he became such a pain that we didn't extend the invitation. In years past he could have stayed on his 44 foot boat but when he swallowed the anchor for the open road, the boat became a memory and a smaller version took it's place.

Most of us on the canal don't mind the sound of laughing and chattering children even if it is in German. A few protest but since there isn't a homeowners association, they can't change shit! “All we want is peace and quiet,” said Midwest Molly at a 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' meeting. “We never would have purchased this home had we known the out and out racket that we have to put up with.” Like what?

“Boats moving around at all times of day and night, loud parties, way too loud TV and people running boats at their dock but never going anywhere,” she answered before storming out with husband in tow.

“How much do you want for your place,” Boston Bob shouted after them. Molly, a retired school teacher, turned around at the bottom of the driveway and surprised us all by giving him the middle finger salute.

Chicago Mike is their next door neighbor and commented; “They keep the house buttoned up and the A/C running constantly. I don't believe they can hear anything but they are right about the running boat at the dock. I had 'dockside Steve' working on my motor just after Thanksgiving?”

Thank goodness they are on the opposite end of the canal because the German kids would drive them to drink which they obviously don't. For me it's heaven and I have my office sliding glass open slightly, as I compose this masterpiece, just to hear them despite the cold weather.

Brrrr! I think it might snow.

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com