Penile Implant Tries To Rob Bank

It's been a bad week for “Run-aground Ralph” (a charter member of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club') especially last Friday. He was on the way to our hospital conglomerate fro a problem with a very serious personal issue. Since he doesn't use the ATM, he always goes inside to the teller window and so he did at an unfamiliar branch.

While waiting in line, several bank employees noticed a huge bulge in his shorts. So huge that even his Bahama shirt couldn't conceal it. When he got to the window he passed the young female teller a deposit slip and a check.

“Don't shoot,” she cried out loud while piling the money from her cashier's drawer into the win.

“What...? The cold barrel of the guards gun cut him short. Suddenly, uniformed Ft Myers Police burst into the bank and threw poor Ralph to the floor. Six of them jumped on his back while one of them tried to handcuff the 73 year old.

All Ralph could do was scream in pain. He'd landed on his malfunctioning Penile implant. We all told him NOT to go to Cambodia for the Penile implant but it was one third the price of the U.S. Models and he got a chance to try it out in Cambodia.

When Boston Bob and I got to the hospital Ralph was already in a 'post-op' suite guarded by an armed hospital security guard and a Sheriff's deputy. “Did they take it out?” Bob asked indelicately.

“No, they disconnected the hydraulic line and they're trying to get the paperwork translated from Mandarin to English,” Ralph said cheekily. “When they get it repaired I have a date with a nurse from the ER.....

More Penile implant news as it comes in....

boatguy Ed (boatguiEd@aol.com) is a manufacturer of the worlds BEST anti-fouling bottom paint, www.supershipbottom.com. NEVER, EVER TRY TO BUY HIM A DRINK!

This column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

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