Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

A group of friends of friends of friends from Ohio came to town and borrowed my Biddison 22 for a week of fishing. They had impeccable credentials including Coast Guard Auxiliary certification. The only requirement I imposed was that my boat had to be back at my dock two hours after sunset every day. Take a wild guess at how many days it made the dock? If you said one you'd be one over. It didn't bother me that much but the wife was pissed. I knew where the boat was and twice I swung by to see it was at my neighbors dock. I ran into them at Dock Fords and they were sufficiently contrite. They promised to have it ship shape and home the night before they left. They must have docked it in the middle of the night because it was magically there in the morning. In the boat there were s few beer cans but no dings or dents. The 22 Biddison has more storage than any other boat ever built. I started to clean the boat but was called away, wink, wink! When I got home my wife...

"Boy the water in the canal is high," said Erie Earl's nephew, "must be all the rain." Jeff the Nephew lives in Iowa and is contemplating moving to Fort Myers/Fort Myers Beach because he went through a messy divorce that included accusations of infidelity and child abuse but more on that later. "No, Jeff, not necessarily just the rain," said Chicago Chuck. "It's the tide, mostly. It will take you a while to learn about tides." "We studied them in college and my family experienced them when we vacationed on the ocean but...," he teared up and left. "It's been tough on him," said Earl. "He should grow a pair, kick them to the curb and get on with his life," said Run-aground Ralph. "Spoken like a true Coast Guard desk jockey," I spouted but then I remembered to suffer fools more gladly. The last time I spoke up, I was ejected from the Big Game Waterfront Restaurant. ...

There has been a shock as powerful as lightning and as loud as thunder that went through Fort Myers Beach last week. The cheap draft beer has gone from $1 to $1.50 and more. "Oh my God how could they have jacked up it up $.50 that fast," cried on former patron who loved the buck beer.

" I can't believe someone would fire a woman while she's battling breast cancer," said 'Run-aground' Ralph. We fellow "Dead End Canal Yacht Club' members were deeply moved by Ralph's incredulity . Ralph's many careers included owning a non-union foundry outside of Chicago and he bragged how ruthlessly he treated his employees. “Even I wouldn't have stooped so low!” “ I t's all over the beach,” said Boston Bob, “even heard it from a couple of early snowbirds I brought to the beach the other day.” Yes, he's back driving 'airport transportation. NOT TAXI! We're even debating changing his nickname to 'not a taxi driver Bob'! “ I hear there will be a boycott and it might have already started,” said Erie Earl, “it was me and Cleveland Jack and the young bar maid the other happy hour.” “ I thought people were staying away because of the banishment of a favorite 'DECYC' member but I can see how mo...

NEWS From BoatUS Boat Owners Association of The United States 880 S. Pickett St., Alexandria, VA  22304 BoatUS Press Room at http://www.BoatUS.com/pressroom FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Press Contact:  D. Scott Croft, 703-461-2864, SCroft@BoatUS.com Photo Available at: http://www.BoatUS.com/pressroom/previewImg/hiRes/1038.jpg Photo Caption: Reports say 13-year-old Sarah Grace Tellifero sadly lost her life as a result of a malfunctioning electric boat lift while swimming near a boathouse. (photo: courtesy photo). 13-Year Old Dies at Boathouse: What Can You Do to Prevent Electrocution and ESD? TENSAS PARISH, La., September 4, 2014 -- It was a Sunday afternoon just over a week ago when 13-year-old Sarah Grace Tellifero was enjoying the last days of summer with three friends, swimming near a boathouse on a local lake. Sadly, when Sarah went to grab a boarding ladder on a pontoon boat to climb out of the water, she was electrocuted. A 17-year old was also shock...

So we took the Rev's Tri-toon out last weekend. It was labor day Sunday and Cap'n Crunch, Run-aground  Ralph, the Rev, Boston Bob and I cruised the beaches in style at around 40 mph. The boat is way over powered with a 250hp Merc on the back but once it is on semi-plane only half throttle is needed to keep it there. We went all over, almost to Red Fish Pass on the outside, up the river to the new Boathouse at Cape Coral  Yacht club and finally anchored off the Lani Kai. We dropped a stern anchor (lunch hook) to keep the waves from driving us onshore before we dropped the front boarding ladder. Had intentions of going and having a beer served by Mike at the beach bar and then up top to see Joe but before we could get off a group of  jail bait girls crawled aboard like live rats boarding a new ship. They snapped selfies while lying about on the plush seating and one tried to out do the other. I didn't see the  first girl take her bikini top of...