Run-aground Pain in the ....


Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead in this blog, is purely coincidental.
www.supershipbottom.com



 Run-aground Ralph e-mailed me the other day and informed me of a surprise birthday party. He likes to do that, ruining a surprise is his thing. I may have been pissed except I already knew about the party because the Liquor store left a message about an extra keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon ready for pickup on the 12th which just happens to be my birthday.

"Oh that bastard," Boston Bob shouted from across the canal after I text-ed him the news. 'No problem,' I text-ed. 

When we gathered for the Belmont at the Big Game Waterfront Grill I was sure the old bastard wouldn't show but Hottie came with two of her girlfriends from Miami so he slunk in the back to spy on her. Detroit John spotted him and slipped away before anyone else knew.


"Ralph, you're a real prick," John told Ralph. The only reply was Ralph's nodding and chuckling. "I had to walk away or hit him. What an asshole!"

"It's his old Coast Guard inferiority complex," said Marine Mike. "He's been that way ever since he retired."

"I thought he made a whole lot of money after the CG,” asked Hanna. We laid out Ralph's bio to her while we tried to get some food ordered. Ralph married into a small bar in Cincinnati and they built a car factory right next door. The sleepy little bar turned into a gold mine which he immediately screwed his wife out of her share.

“We don't have any food specials,” said the bartender in answer to our request. Drink specials? “None of those either.”

“Why do we come here. Let's go to the Pelican! They have a big money pool, 'Out of the Money' stew, New York Clam Chowder and Belmont Wings plus specials on Long Island Ice Tea,” said Cleveland Jack.

“I ain't eating no horse meat,” said Hanna. When we told her it was really Mulligan stew with a clever name, she was the first one out of the door. And wouldn't you know it, she won the pool with a name we never heard of. But we all had a good time at the Pukin' Pelican without Ralph!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments or I'm going to stop doing this, I'm not kidding! (Contact) DeadEndCanalYC@aol.com.
Or boatguiEd@aol.com 



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