Strange Bedfellows

Boating is ..... Missing the Water May 17, 08
by boatguy Ed

It's been a month since I've been on my own boat. I've shared some trips with fellow members of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' but it isn't the same. We've been going on a rotation basis and last weekend I went fishing with Cincinnati George all the way out to the 30 mile shelf. The total fuel bill was $300 and we four split it $75 a piece.

I caught my limit of Grouper and one legal size Snapper. Everyone else did about the same and three of us put a pretty good dent in a case of beer while Cincinnati George guzzled down bottled water like it was free! We are happy he is a tea-totaler but when we added it all up his water cost more than the beer?

On our way in we argued about where to have a plate of chicken wings and I was outvoted 2 to 1 so I ended up going to a place that I pretty much despise just because the afternoon barmaid used to work at Hooters and you know the rest of the story. The off-season crowd is pretty thin in most places and she and two off duty employees were leaning on the Tiki Hut bar awaiting our arrival. Miss 44D was in the process of lifting up her t-shirt and drying off her 44's with a paper towel.

We didn't see anything except the towel's impression moving across her chest under the shirt. “Silicone or whatever they use gets hot and it makes me sweat,” she confided as she tossed the coasters our way, “what'll you have?”

“Pour some Vodka through that paper towel,” quipped Log Island Sal. We all laughed because it was funny and the spectacle had made us a little nervous. Exactly what she wanted to ensure a big tip.

Cincinnati George sat with his back to her the whole visit. He's a Christian fellow and disapproves of such wanton displays. Why he didn't have a vote about our happy hour destination was never fully explained.

“So when are you boys (all of us are over 60) going to take me for a ride on your boat,” asked Miss 44D. We shrugged and pointed to George who was ignoring the tempting young woman. George didn't respond so she swatted him with a bar towel and said. “Are you going to take me for a ride someday?”

Without turning an inch George replied, “I am a married man!” So what's the big deal she asked? All she wanted was a ride on a boat and right away he was reading something into it that wasn't intended. She was insulted and went out on the dock to smoke a cigarette.

Long Island Sal felt sorry for her and followed her. After he apologized for his boating companion they chatted warmly and she took his arm as they strolled back to the bar. “At least there is one gentleman among you!”

Sal left her a $10 tip for a $6 bill and she was on him like a grateful barmaid should. “I always wondered what happened to old Playboy Bunnies,” said Alva Bob. Sal wanted to know what he meant by that remark. “I meant nothing by it but they all have to make a living and I'm sure your generous tip will go a long way on such a slow day!”

“She was just flirting a little and giving us a show. Whether Sal takes her for a boat ride someday is his business, not ours,” I remarked to George back at his dock.

“You're right and I'm not judging him. I have a healthy wife and his is in a nursing home. He took care of her for nearly 10 years with very little help and if he wants to step out on her with that bimbo for a laugh or two well it's not for me to judge,” said George as we washed down the boat.

“I hope he doesn't take her for a ride. She such a phony and I don't mean just her plastic boobs. When the season was in full bloom she couldn't be bothered even to say hello but now we're gentlemen or not because we will or won't haul her around in our boat. But hey, she might just be a summer diversion for Sal if he's smart enough to keep her away from his wallet,” I said.

The price of fuel is making strange bedfellows. I'm missing my own boat so I might just run her out into some mangrove lined oxbow in the river and read a book or fish a little or just sit and think about buying another sailboat! Boat Safe!




Comments

Anonymous said…
I think you're great!

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