Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

Boston Bob has been in a real bad mood recently because of the downturn in tips from airport rides. “All season we were averaging 18 % but now it has fallen off to a 8 or 9% because the cheap people are flying,” he bemoaned. “They fly down on a discount ticket, stay at a friend or relatives free place and think that the airport transportation is way to expensive.” “Sounds like blow boaters,” Erie Earl said as he was packing his van for the trip north. BB wasn't in the mood for sarcasm and let out a string of blue language before storming off. “That will be $2.25 fine Bob,” I said.   The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' fines members $.25 for every swear word they use in the clubhouse. Since Erie Earl was packing up his beach chairs that we sometimes used as meeting furniture, BB was technically in the club house. If we collected all the fines we could build a free standing clubhouse.   No one expects that ever to happen but just the threat of the fine wi...

DO NOT CONFUSE THE PUKIN' PELICAN WITH NEW "PELICAN BAY RESTAURANT!" They aren't all gone but the majority of the 'snow birds' have returned to the north. Glad to see you go and we will welcome you back in the fall. Please take a driving course while your gone. Anyway, some of the local biz will suffer. Boatyards will lay-off workers, restaurants will try to discount their way through the off-season and grocery stores will just hang in there. The goodwill sewn in the winter will bear fruit this summer. The 'Pukin' Pelican has lived on the snow birds. They were packed most happy hours because of daily food specials and cheap draft beer. If they can sustain this, they will be alright but they've also sewed some discontent. Several popular employees have been let go or quit and there has begun a backlash against there management style. Is there a boycott? Not an organized boycott but just a bunch of people deciding en mass not to frequent the ...

"You'd better talk to this guy," my wife/biz partner/CEO-CFO said to me as I was taking a nap in my office. I'm retired so naps are allowed. "Hello, this is Ed, I make the paint, how can I help you?" "The weather has broke her in Boston and I need my paint (Super Shipbottom) fast. The lady says I need to wait but I can't," said the nervous voice on my phone. "Why not," I asked. He described a sudden warm spell, his involvement in the U.S. CG Auxiliary and the imminent arrival of rubber-necking relatives. "I have to have my boat in the water in only a few days," he said. This is a problem because we ship from Florida and he is near Boston. We can't overnight the paint because it is HazMat. "This in not good," he said. Just at that moment Marion arrived with his file. "Sir, I see by the file we have that you have ordered every year for the last five years, is that correct?" "Yeah and i...

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/23/us/boston-attacks-boat-owner/index.html?hpt=hp_c2 An exclusive interview by a local anchor with the hero boater who now needs a new boat but doesn't want any help!

Just got a Twitter account, can you believe it. I can Tweet updates if you follow this blog @boatguyEd.

As head of the "Dead End Canal Yacht Club" entertainment committee I am always bombarded with request to find new and even more exciting Fort Myers Beach happy hour places. Now that the majority of our (regular and social) member have gone North, I am getting additional requests for restaurants that DON'T exist. On Google search they can find 'ghost restaurants' like Hurricane Harry's that now is a cab stand at the foot of the sky bridge. It never opened despite remodeling the building to fit their motif which couldn't have been cheap. The previous owners had lava and mirrors on the ceiling and walls in the bar area. Not waterfront but the other two are. Through the grapevine I understand that there was a development order granted for the property and the county of Lee wouldn't give them a Certificate of Occupancy (CO) until Harry built a motel. If this is true and I'm only quoting the grapevine so I'm not sure but if it is, wow. I've ...

“I think I need to re-pack my stuffing box,” said Boston Bob. “I've never had so many drips.” “How can a sailboat-er know one drip from the other,” answered Cap'n Crunch. He doesn't like sailboat-ers because he claims they force him out of the channel. “Screw you Crunchy. I've changed the packing in many sailboats but this is somy new sailboat and I'm a little apprehensive,” said BB. Let me give you a little background. BB's son lived in New York City, Manhattan is the expensive part, don't you know. Anyway, in 2008 he was let go from his Marketing position at a big firm. Bob expected his son to move out of Manhattan to cut his expenses but he didn't. New York unemployment being what it is, the son could have lived nicely in another part. The kid needed money so Bob depleted his savings, took a job driving an airport taxi and finally sold his boat just so the kid could live in Manhattan. We all suspected that Mrs. BB was behind a lot of th...