Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

boatguyed@gmail.com When we arrived at the Pukin' Pelican Waterfront Bar and Eatery it was Happy Hour so it was packed with Snowbirds trying to get their fill of cheap drinks. Some draft Beer is $1.75. Bottles are $2.50 and well drinks and wines are $2.75 for a limited time. There is always a frozen drink in a tall glass with a garnish of fruit on top on special. We waited for another boat to move away from the finger pier before docking which delayed us considerably. Upon entering, Cleveland Jack shouted that he had saved us a table for the eight of us but some West Virginia gray hairs had sat down with the promise to move when we arrived. Not all of them did. There was two women who were claiming possession despite their husband's pleas. So we squeezed into the table around them. boatguyed@gmail.com Pensacola Slim got them to move with one question, “Do you buy your pancake make up by the pound or bucket?” There was a bit of a scene but they were gone. But the ...

I won't identify which of my favorite bar/restaurants this Pepperoni Flat Bread originated. They might recognize it and maybe get the point. I realize it isn't a Pizza so the amount of Pepperoni on this $9.95 (half eaten as shown) Marinara covered, over cooked item is completely arbitrary but really? Thanks for the butter knife and fork but they wouldn't cut thru some of the crust w/o stabbing in a few times. Lil' Caesar spoiled me with their double Pepperoni Pizza for $6 while using Pizza sauce. (Hint; this is definitely NOT from the Pukin' Pelican!)   This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only.  Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject.  Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.

Does Anyone Else Remember The Split Rail Restaurant? It was once a favorite place for beach ppl for breakfast and lunch. Us younger members of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” could pull our small boats up to the rickety dock and have a beer and a few chicken wings in the late afternoon. I'm sure you've guessed that I write of a long ago era before happy hours became the rage. Circa 1990! My wife, Marion and I lived at the Boardwalk Caper which was a boater's paradise but not on the DEC. We ate breakfast often at the Split Rail and I attribute much of my heart problems to those delicious heart cloggers. Me, myself and I ate there three mornings a week for a solid 15 years because my office was on the beach. I'm not sure how many Greek immigrants began washing dishes so they could learn to bus tables then run the fryer and fry the eggs before becoming the owner but I remember a half dozen. It used to be a great way to chain migrate to America but all good...