Boating; Hurry Up Season!
As the Snowbird members of our beloved
'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' drift into town, we year rounders are at
a loss for explanation about the “State of the Beach.” The road
construction is ongoing without an apparent end in site, many of our
favorite watering holes are on shaky ground and that layer of
government that was not supposed to impact our lives, HAS!
And several restaurants are falling
behind in their promises! The 'Best of the Beach' is a contest that
is somehow rigged by the restaurants themselves. So the best
breakfast on the beach might not be. We don't know how they do it but
the awarding newspapers have to be involved because even Stevie
Wonder could detect fraud from Xeroxed ballots in the same
handwriting.
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| From One of the Beach Places with Boot in their name but NOT from the one that Claims to have the Best Ribs! |
“Who has the best BBQ,” asked a
tourist. “I see the electronic sign on the approach of the beach
declaring they have 'home smoked ribs' but when we ate there, the
ribs were dry and cold?”
Our fall back position has been to
refer them to TripAdvisor or Yelp Local for reviews because our
members taste in food varies far and wide. Some of us still go to
some of the bars and restaurants but none of us go to all the bars
and restaurants. Kind of like, 'You can fool all of the people some
of the time but not...' something like that!
My personal 6 month favorite was 'Boot
Kicken's Sports Bar at the old Channel Mark or the old Nauti Turtle
or the old Luna Rosa or the old Tim's Place or the other half dozen
failed ventures at Hurricane Pass. I was a major proponent but I
only succeeded bringing in a few hearty souls like Cleveland Jack,
Pittsburgh Mike and his lovely wife Stacey and our favorite educator,
Sailor Ed but he only came in on Fridays.
Why you ask did I like the Boot
Kicken's or Kickers or Lickens? Despite the mispronunciation of their
name, they had Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap. My favorite beer even though
it was sometimes warm, flat or not available. My philosophy is, you
have to be tougher than the beer you drink!
I happily report, they are still open
and struggling along towards season. Glorious season, when everyone
will get well. When the dollar bills stack up faster than the
restroom's Depend machine empties! When the draft beer flows so fast
that it never has a chance to get warm in the ¼ mile of tubing
between the walk-in-cooler and the bar.
But sadly, the Boot Kicken's
draft system failed in August so no Pabst, no boatguy Ed. And I do
miss the owner Kay and the GM Jennifer and their gorgeous employees.
I'm hoping they find a way to put in 16 ounce cans of PBR soon.
Off-season is hard on the beach, hard
on the employees who haven't learned to save the money from their
overflowing in-season tip jars, hard on the owners who lose sight of
the big picture and hardest on the purveyors who clean-up in the
Winter then screw the Pooch in the Summer.
Harder still on the year rounders like
the handful of Dead Enders that straggle together into the hot and
humid waterfront places only to be met with long faces and tales of
woe; the rent is due or baby needs a new pair of shoes or the live-in
girlfriend is leaving to find better or more available dope!
We old farts are as excited at the
prospect of a newer sexy waterfront bar and grill. Maybe it isn't ON
the beach but it's just off the beach and it beats driving all the
way out by the airport to pay $4.50 for a draft beer at Twin Peaks.
This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All images are merely for humor and not meant to comment on subject. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) boatguied@aol.com
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