Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

  Dolphin Video It's probably been 18 months since we (DECYC) regularly frequented the 'Nauti Turtle. Some of us were mad 'cause they booted those obnoxious Ohio fans like the Browns DOG POUND and the much more refined "Buckeye Backers" and some of us didn't like the food and some of us felt the place was dirty and some of us didn't like the constant change in help BUT all of us didn't like the managment, period. The owner of the business came from Toledo and it was strange that he couldn't put up with the Dog Pound when they were loyal drunks and probably spent every Fall Sunday guzzling overpriced drinks. The manager  was all biz. He was unwilling or unable to be pleasant and that is a necessity for upper restaurant management. We love Betty! Hell, everybody loves Betty but even she couldn't make us change our mind. The Nauti Turtle closed Monday April 28th and already their has been an influx of former patrons to the Sunset Bar. The...

Fort Myers News-Press Coverage of Boat Collision and Death Boatguy Ed ( boatguiEd@aol.com ) is the manufacturer of the world's BEST bottom paint ,  www.supershipbottom.com  and former Producer, Director, Co-Star and the guy who swept up at the “Boating Show” 1995 to 2000. Also Producer and Director of “Dining Out SWFL” and “Boater's Treasure TV.” Fort Myers Boating Columnist 2001 to 2013. This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only.   Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  V oid where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments or I'm going to stop doing this, I'm not kidding!  (Contact)  DeadEndCanalYC@aol.com.  Or boatguiEd@aol.com 

Bad Boating Season. There was a definet gloom around the narrow table at the Sunset Bar. The skinny piece of wood was loaded with glasses of beer. Only NC Rick had a mixed drink. The rest of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” members were sucking on happy hour $2 drafts. “Man, getting killed on a perfect boating day is a bad way to go,” said Cracker Bob. “Getting killed on any day is bad...,” said Boston Bob who stopped while the crew shouted him down. After the chorus of 'we all know that', “Well it's worse on a perfect day.” “There isn't a lot of particulars yet but one of those boats were in the wrong place,” Cleveland Jack. “It looked like all the damage was on the starboard side.” “Too early to tell. The report will take months and then there will be a hearing and maybe a trial,” said Sgt. Dave. “You should know of all people. You have an inside track to the powers that be,” said Boston Bob. “You'll know when they publish the finding...

http://www.soundingsonline.com/dispatches/291978-video-a-hefty-price-tag Almost as stupid a move as the movie 'All Is Lost' which was really bad! Watch Sounding video and decide!

Kimber used to work at the Nauti Turtle for some very incompetant owners. Then the 'Ford's Garage' people took over and she left. Now, she is a charter boat Captain with a 24 foot pontoon boat that has a stripper pole. Did you say what, I thought you said what? Yes I said stripper pole. We're sure it will be an uninspected vessel carrying 6 passangers or less. We 'DECYC' members can't wait for a ride and we'll pay the fare, all except Ralph and Crunchee who will follow the boat around for a free show. Kimber is a very pretty Captain who could be the one on the pole except she has to drive the boat. Some smart waterfront bar owner should allow Kimber to hold auditions at their place. What a draw! Come back for updates. UPDATE!!!!!!!! 'Stripper Pole' boat has holes in aluminum pontoons!

"Geez, how drunk do you have to be to fall flat on your face like that," said Cleveland Jack as the Ambulance Medics   worked on the 'drunk' in the doorway of the Pukin' Pelican. "They aren't acting like he's drunk. Using the paddleboards on him twice," said Hard Luck Hanna. We all swivled in our chairs to watch and it was quickly evident that the 'drunk' was in fact dead. "I knew these chairs would kill someone sooner or later," said Boston Bob. "They're terribly uncomfortable but I hardly think they're deadly," said Hanna. "I'll bet it was a blood clot," I said. "That's the way it hit me. Straight down without any attempt to break my fall!" "He did a face plant. I know if he lives, he'll need a lot of Dentistry and maybe some plastic surgery," said Cleveland Jack. When the medics gave up, they carted him away. "Who knew incredibly uncomfortable bar st...

VIDEO: Watch as a Dutch-built Elling E4 is put through a rollover test. Fasten your seat belt and pay particular attention to the skipper’s necktie as the boat completes 360 degrees. Watch... http://www.soundingsonline.com/dispatches/291933-video-dutch-rollover