Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

Boating is.. May 30th by boatguy Ed "We're in a bind here," shouted the boater from the sandbar, "can you pull us off?" In most cases any boater would gladly help another boater in distress but this case was different. The stranded vessel was completely surrounded by sand and was a good two feet from water. "How long have you been aground," we asked. "We were shelling and the water just receded," answered the young woman walking around the boat. After checking the tide chart we noticed that the next high tide was eight hours away so we explained the situation to the stranded couple and offered a solution. "We'll nose our boat into shallow water and you can wade out to us. We'll take you to the nearest dock or wherever and you can call some friends, okay?" "We can't do that, this is a rental boat and we have to have it back in an hour. Just throw us a line

Boating is ..... Missing the Water May 17, 08 by boatguy Ed It's been a month since I've been on my own boat. I've shared some trips with fellow members of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' but it isn't the same. We've been going on a rotation basis and last weekend I went fishing with Cincinnati George all the way out to the 30 mile shelf. The total fuel bill was $300 and we four split it $75 a piece. I caught my limit of Grouper and one legal size Snapper. Everyone else did about the same and three of us put a pretty good dent in a case of beer while Cincinnati George guzzled down bottled water like it was free! We are happy he is a tea-totaler but when we added it all up his water cost more than the beer? On our way in we argued about where to have a plate of chicken wings and I was outvoted 2 to 1 so I ended up going to a place that I pretty much despise just because the afternoon barmaid used to work at Hooters and you know the rest of the story. The off-

Whenever I'm on the water and stop in at a marina one of the dock hands will always want to tell a story of a catastrophe that occured recently. They usaully start out by telling me that a new boater or an inexpierenced boater did this or did that. The all time best was a story I heard recently from Dwayne and Frank dock attendants at the 'Tween Water' marina on Captiva Island, Florida. "A boat club was docking on Friday afternoon last month and one boat in particular was having trouble so frank and I were paying real close attention to this 28 foot cruiser. It took the skipper 5 or 6 attempts to get her into the slip but he finally was almost all the way in when I shouted to the lady on the bow, 'Throw me a dock line,' " said Dwayne. "She ran around searching for one and finally the skipper told her to look in one of the lockers and out came a West Marine bag out of which she pulled a brand new color coded double braided dock line still in the packag