Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

"We're thinking of changing the name," the new manager of the Pukin' Pelican said to her best customers, us, the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club members sitting at the half empty bar. "Now that Crazy Alice sold out, the staff thinks we should upgrade the image. Better clientele and better tips?"  We, (DECYC) are nearly evenly split on the subject. Some who like Crazy Alice liked the name. Others who disliked Crazy Alice don't like the name at all. Me and Boston Bob thought that the name was cute like the 'Bearded Clam' or such other clever names and double entendres. "Since they put in the pool tables the clientele has changed. I've been waiting for the mechanical bull but I suppose the place isn't that big," lamented Texarkana Hanna. We all agreed that those tables were a nuisance but they did add some small amount to the bottom line. "Crazy Alice should have stayed in the kitchen," said Erie Earl. "She blew...

How not to be a good Samaritan? I once found a pretty new boat drifting unattended in the back bay behind Fort Myers Beach. An attached bow line was wrapped around a cleat that had pulled loose from a wooden object. There was no mid-line and the boats rear cleat was missing. I put a tow line on it and called the Coast Guard. I stood by while the rubber Ducky raced towards me. Chalk that up to youthful exuberance. I'm sure the fine would be huge for any civilian boater who ran the idle speed zones that way but they could get away with it because the public safety might be involved. Which it often is from the massive wake that rubber Ducky can throw. A long time ago, a young woman was climbing out of her Choy Lee sailboat docked at the old Pearl Street Marina when youthful exuberance knocked her off the ladder and onto the cabin sole where she broke her leg and fractured her skull. Whether she was high on a combination of narcotics at the time or subsequent to her ...

We, as an organization, try never to criticize local restaurants because some of the owners and most of the employees are friendly to the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club.” Personally, individually and separately we can express any opinion. If you read this drivel regularly then you are aware of the criticism of the Pukin' Pelican which is our favorite, least favorite place on the beach. LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP. One of our post-season visitors came with a special request, “I have to go to that BBQ place on main street to see for myself.” He produced a ream of paper with horrible reviews with a smattering of favorite reviews mixed in. “Being in the restaurant biz, I place a lot of trust in TripAdvisor. Not so much in the glowing reviews but certainly for the slam reviews.” “They're probably competitors,” I said. Boston Bob disagreed. “Didn't you tell me that 'Big Mike' the bartender at Boot Kickens replied to your 3 star rating by saying that you might get your P...

http://boatingbyboatguyed.com/ The 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club' held our farewell party Saturday night. It was planned over a year ago by the entertainment committee without studying the calender. With Easter so early, this function was poorly attended because many of the people we were trying to wish ado, already ado-ed. As with most in-clubhouse functions, it was potluck. Some made baked beans, others brought Publix chicken, we made coleslaw and Buffalo wings. Columbus Charlie brought 3 dozen ears of corn because he is still miffed about our 'no farmers' membership rule. He's never been a farmer at least since he was a small boy but the rule rankles him none the less. Cap'n Crunch is the spearhead behind the developing feud. Not the one he has perpetuated about farmers even though many club members agree with him but a property line feud with Charlie. Crunchie thinks he owns the whole canal because he has a lot more money than most of us. Charlie ...

We (the Dead End Canal Yacht Club's happy hour excursion) slid into the Pukin' Pelican Sports Bar and Grill's dock on the Rev's Tritoon the other day. The Rev put his feet up and his head set on and listened to religious music on his boat's stereo. He doesn't like to impose his taste in music on other people. We quickly discovered that his courtesy wasn't necessarily shared by everyone. As soon as we finished our drink orders, we became acutely aware of a 'Dewey, Chitum and Howe' advertisement blaring out of the bar's speakers. Those quick sideways glances that usually accompany dissatisfaction were exchanged. “Did one of you say you got a DUI,” asked Drummer Ed. “No, that was a radio commercial,” said Outer Banks Oscar as he was tearing up a black bar napkin to stuff small pieces in his ears. When the country music started we mostly let out a unified groan. It wasn't Dolly or Willie or even Hank. Not classic country...