Boating is...by boatguy Ed Fort Myers Beach is a satirical site!

At our Friday weekly "Dead End Canal Yacht Club" happy hour meeting we had several 'snowbird' members attend and we were confused? Punxsutawney Phil and Chicago Bob were warmly greeted and we listened intently to the summer stories of grand kids and boating adventures. "I had to get away from my grand daughters wedding plans," said Phil. "I buried my brother in June," said Bob, "and I needed my beautiful Fort Myers beach to cheer me up!" We all felt terrible for Bob but we were especially sympathetic to poor Phil. Funerals last 3 days, mourning may go on indefinitely but weddings are horrendous events for the brides family. “ They want me to wear a tuxedo and for Betty and I to renew the wedding vows. I said NO. Okay to the Tuxedo so Betty can wear a new fancy dress but after 40 years of marriage there is no reason to do over the wedding vow. Hell, I might change my mind. She ain't the same broad I married!” S...

Boating by boatguy Ed A casual acquaintance collared me the other day at a popular watering hole and insisted that I listen to his 'undying desire' to own a boat. The word undying triggered long lost memories, some fond. some painful. If you're around the water long enough you'll meet enthusiasts like my friend and every other type of boater. I'm not talking about the beloved weekend boater with a 19 foot Barslammer and 2.2 kids and a third wife. No, I'm talking about working boaters and cruising boaters and dead boaters. Dying on a boat suddenly raises the living status of the most low of low life's. I knew a nasty back deck shrimper who went missing during a storm. He was memorialized by the same people he harassed when he was alive. He was an extreme case for sure. The news media grabs onto stories of boating stupidity and tries to make the people who died or nearly died into heroes. Endangering yourself and others would be called...

It's been a bad week for “Run-aground Ralph” (a charter member of the 'Dead End Canal Yacht Club') especially last Friday. He was on the way to our hospital conglomerate fro a problem with a very serious personal issue. Since he doesn't use the ATM, he always goes inside to the teller window and so he did at an unfamiliar branch. While waiting in line, several bank employees noticed a huge bulge in his shorts. So huge that even his Bahama shirt couldn't conceal it. When he got to the window he passed the young female teller a deposit slip and a check. “Don't shoot,” she cried out loud while piling the money from her cashier's drawer into the win. “What...? The cold barrel of the guards gun cut him short. Suddenly, uniformed Ft Myers Police burst into the bank and threw poor Ralph to the floor. Six of them jumped on his back while one of them tried to handcuff the 73 year old. All Ralph could do was scream in pain. He'd landed on his m...