Glad to see you but NO we don't want to be best friends!

We, me and Mrs. boatguy, partook in the Fish Monger's Tuesday night happy hour which includes 1/2 price appetizers. It was crowded but our 4:30 arrival allowed us the opportunity to takeover two departing snowbirds seats at the bar.

They stock my favorite beer so I am quite willing to attend. After the usual round of comments, "My Grandfather used to drink PBR....." "I didn't know they made that stuff anymore!" We settled in for fried Calamari, Shrimp Cocktail and Pot Stickers.

It isn't difficult to engage my wife in conversation. So half way through my first app, I turned to say something incredibly brilliant/humorous only to find her deep in conversation with a newbie who had way to many questions that were asked in rapid fire like a grilling by the Police.

"Where are you from.....here? No body is from here."

"Where do you live?"

"How often do you come here?"

"Do you have children...grandchildren?"

Now all of this might sound like harmless chitchat to the sociable among you but to a grouch like me it's invasion of privacy! "Eat your Calamari," I said to Mrs. boatguy after I elbowed her in the ribs. I can do both was her reply. If so, then why is your fried bait cold, I said.

The inquisitive newbie ignored my aggressively chewing wife and tried to ask more questions around her but I wasn't playing. I ignored her until she reach around my wife and tried to touch me to get my attention. That was all I could take but the daggers coming out of my wife's eyes warned me.

I touched my ears and shrugged my shoulder. "You should get hearing aids," the woman said.

Here is a hint for all you newbies. You can't absorb a lifetime local knowledge or bond with locals by acting this way. You'll just piss us off!

This blog/column is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Do not read while operating a vehicle or heavy machinery. Keep sending those great questions and comments! (Contact) DeadEndCanalYC@aol.com